Couples have been comparing relationships long before social media. However, with digital media, there is now more opportunity to do so. If you are used to comparing your relationship with others, you are not alone. Many people do this believing that others have something better than they do. However, everyone tries to glamorize what they have, whether online or offline. Therefore, what you see and think you should replicate may not be real. Hence, comparing your relationship with other people’s is not a good idea and may endanger your relationship.
Why People Compare Relationships
Comparing your relationship means you see your romance through the lens of other people’s relationships. Many people compare their relationships because they think theirs is lacking. It may be the same for you. You see what others seem to have, and you want to have the same. Thus, you may start to focus on the negatives of your relationship and the positives of theirs. However, every relationship is different and has its distinct challenges because two unique individuals make up that love affair.
On the other hand, you may have started comparing your relationship with that of others because you wanted to be motivated. That is good if you have healthy self-esteem and know what you want. However, you can easily start making toxic comparisons. It may take some time or be too late when you realize this. Therefore, instead of comparing your relationship, it is much better to admire what others have and try to improve yours. Here are three reasons to stop comparing your relationship.
Why You Should Stop Comparisons in Relationships
Toxicity
Comparing your relationship with what you see online or around you can lead to toxicity. When you compare your partner’s actions to what you see and hear, you may begin to fault them. This can lead to mistreatment, creating a toxic relationship. It may also lead to low self-esteem if you think you are the problem. Comparisons make you start wishing for unrealistic things and affect the health of your romance.
Unhealthy Fixation on Faults
No relationship is perfect because humans are infallible, but every relationship has its great points. However, when you compare, you will be more likely to ignore the good parts and fixate on the negative ones. Meanwhile, other people probably wish for what you have. Comparing your relationship will, however, keep you fixated on the little things that irritate you rather than the ones that make you smile. You will then miss out on what you liked about your partner in the first place.
Unhealthy Competition
Many relationships have ended due to unhealthy comparisons. Comparing your relationship can lead to unhealthy competition and, eventually, stress. If you fixate too much on what others have that you lack, you tend to want to replicate it in your relationship. You may start setting unattainable expectations and goals, which can overwhelm you and your partner, especially if your partner is unwilling to participate in the competition. It can also lead to stress and can threaten your love.
How To Stop Comparing Your Relationship
If you have already started comparing your relationship, you can stop. The first thing to do is to focus on your relationship instead of being fixated on other people. Think of the positives and how you can improve them, as well as the negatives and how to eliminate them. You can achieve this by communicating with your partner. Let them know if there is anything you think they can work on or stop. You can also ask for feedback about areas where you can improve.
Meanwhile, you may need to reduce or eliminate your usage if you notice that you are always comparing your relationship whenever you use social media. If this isn’t possible, unfollow the accounts that make you feel pressured or insufficient. Another way to stop comparing your relationship is to be grateful for what you share with your partner. Let them know you appreciate those qualities you like, too, so they can continue. Finally, every relationship is different, so celebrate your uniqueness instead of hating it.
Comparing your relationship won’t help you. Rather, it can lead to toxicity and unhealthy competition. It can also make you miss out on the good parts of your relationship. The tips mentioned in this article will help you stop comparing your relationship so you can have a healthy romance.
#Clique, have you ever found yourself comparing your relationship with others? What actions did you take to stop doing that? Let us know in the comments.