A Redditor took to the platform to lay out their grievances with an aggressive co-worker. The Original Poster (OP), with Reddit username LowPlace8844, posted their story titled, “How to deal with vile and aggressive co-worker in a small group.” In their story, OP shared that they work with a few people, and a co-worker in their small group insults them daily. The aggressive co-worker also tries to frustrate them, but their boss is afraid to address the issue. OP revealed that they are confused about what to do. However, at the time of this article, Redditors were yet to respond. Get more details below.
Aggressive Co-worker Lies Against OP’s
OP began their story by sharing details about their work. They worked with four people in a small school program. OP’s dilemma stemmed from her issues with a 50-year-old co-worker. This aggressive co-worker constantly degraded OP before everyone, including the children. OP had worked with their aggressive co-worker as a subordinate for three years, but their relationship never improved. They also did all the work because the co-worker was slack.
Once, when this co-worker was away, OP’s director discovered that they had been lying. They saw that OP did most of the work despite the aggressive co-worker saying the opposite. OP got a promotion, which brought her to the same level as her aggressive co-worker. Meanwhile, the co-worker also got reprimanded for her laziness.
OP’s Co-worker Becomes More Aggressive
After OP’s promotion, the aggressor’s behavior worsened. The woman started antagonizing OP whenever the latter gave instructions to the children. OP said:
“If i say its time to come inside? ‘no no, ten more minutes’. if i say it’s the end of the day ‘no no, ten more minutes’, if i say ‘clean this table ‘she turns around and threatens to send the kids to the office with a write up if they clean the table i told them. i tell the kids to stay out of the water and stop throwing rocks, a SCHOOL RULE, and she waits until my back is turned to let them outside and brings them right to the water. even did this after TWO OTHER PEOLE, INCLUDING OUR B O S S told her to stop.”
The aggressive co-worker also continually harassed other staff members and their boss. She also overfed the children with sugar, which led to negative reviews. However, the co-worker hated criticism, so she blew up more. Meanwhile, every staff member kept complaining to the boss, who couldn’t act because they were involved in money laundering. HR also ruled that the aggressive co-worker couldn’t be fired because she had a disability.
OP Gets Tired Of Aggressive Colleague
OP’s co-worker later started calling them names and making derogatory jokes about them. They also tried to boss OP around and discredit their effort. OP had reached the end of their rope but didn’t know what to do. They contemplated reporting to HR but thought their co-worker would know they did it. Talking things out and setting boundaries were also not viable options for OP because the aggressive co-worker had no “respect, no compassion for other people, and no sense of responsibility or accountability.”
OP said:
“She openly yells at her boss and does all of this shit in front of our boss, who is scared of her and cant fire her because hr has her beliving if someone has any disability they cant be fired for any reason.”
OP concluded:
“Genuinely what do i do at this point besides going to my boss to report every single thing she does (i only went to my boss YESTERDAY for the very first time about this).”
Dealing With Aggressive Co-workers
No one likes to deal with aggressive co-workers. However, this can be inevitable as you come from different backgrounds and have diverse personalities. Moreover, you may have no control over the recruitment process. So what do you do if, like OP, you have to deal with aggression at work?
Understand Why
Experts say you first need to understand why your co-worker is aggressive. Is it due to an overinflated ego? Do they feel their position is threatened, or are they connected with some higher-ups? Nathanael Fast, an assistant professor in the Department of Management and Organization at the University of Southern California, says ego is a big factor. He recommends expressing gratitude or complimenting them. This signals that you respect them and will stroke their ego.
Confront The Issue Squarely
Another way to deal with this issue is to address the behavior directly. Michele Woodward, an executive coach, states that some people are bullies while others are rude. If it is the former, you can get them to change by alerting them to the issue. However, if it is the latter, you may need to escalate it to higher-ups. Stand your ground regardless of the situation. You should also introspect to be sure you are not responsible for your co-worker’s aggression.
Report To Your Bosses
If standing up for yourself doesn’t work, Woodward recommends asking your manager for help. If your aggressive co-worker has friends within the office or company, you can also ask them to intervene. However, if their friends or your manager can’t handle the situation, you should escalate it to HR.
#Clique, have you ever dealt with an aggressive co-worker? How did you handle the situation? Please share your experience.
