No relationship is perfect because there are no perfect humans. Hence, there will be oversights and, sometimes, unintentional neglect between two people in a healthy relationship. However, this does not have to happen if you learn to communicate your needs in a relationship. Your partner can’t read your mind, so they often can’t tell what you need, regardless of the signs you put out. Therefore, properly communicating your needs in a relationship will help you develop a better bond with your partner.
How to Communicate Your Needs in a Relationship
What you say is just as important as how you say it. Therefore, you must put adequate care and thought into how to present your needs. This way, your partner is more receptive to your demands. It also portrays you as a considerate person and not an overbearing person. Your needs are important, whether for more time together or separately, and your loved one’s feelings are also important. Here are three strategies to help you strengthen your connection without being overbearing.
1. Choose the Right Place and Time to Talk
To reach your partner, you must find a suitable place and time for your discussion. Don’t ask for more time when they are buried in work trying to meet a deadline; otherwise, you will come off as whiny and inconsiderate. You will also be less successful if your partner is tired or multitasking.
Hence, the right thing to do is outline what you need in your relationship. Once you have identified your needs, find an appropriate setting for the conversation. You can take them out on a picnic, a date, a spa visit, or something that relaxes them. You could also schedule a call or a visit if you don’t stay together. This shows that you value them and are asking because you need it.
2. Be Careful With Your Tone and Word Choice
Your tone and words can be the deal breaker when communicating your needs in a relationship. If you are not careful how you ask, your partner can become defensive, which may negate the reason for your discussion. When communicating your needs in a relationship, you can present your points better by saying “I” rather than you. For example, instead of saying, “You never spend time with me,” which sounds accusatory, you could say, “I miss you and would love to spend more time with you.”
This will soften your partner and make them more receptive to you. Moreover, be careful not to shift blame or complain when communicating your needs. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison and blame-shifting, but it doesn’t add to your case. Rather, your partner can shut down or get riled up, leading to an argument. Once you hear yourself complaining, stop talking and try to calm down with some deep breaths, and then try again.
3. Listen to Your Partner
Your decision to communicate your needs in a relationship can give your partner room to ask for things from you, too. They may have been worried about presenting their needs to you, so talking would be a good opportunity. When this happens, listen while they speak as well. Don’t just present your demands and go off and don’t refuse to consider their perspectives as well. If you have contradictory demands, commit to reaching a compromise so you both can be happy.
These three practical ways of communicating your needs in a relationship will help you present your needs appropriately. This way, you can strengthen your bond without being overbearing.
#Clique, how do you communicate your needs in a relationship? Share more tips with us in the comments.