There is hardly anyone who hasn’t been offended. However, depending on several factors, different people react differently to hurt. For example, you could be more offended and angry based on who hurt you or what they did. Forgiveness is often thrown around in such situations, but do you really understand what it means?

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that you forget what hurt you. It also doesn’t mean you must continue a relationship with the person who offended you. It just means that you decide to free yourself of the pain you feel when remembering what the person did. However, letting go of the hurt and resentment can be difficult. Therefore, this article teaches you how to let go of resentment and live healthier lives.

Benefits of Forgiveness

Forgiveness has many benefits for physical and mental health and social life. A 2019 study among older adults showed that it reduces the risk of chronic inflammation. Consequently, it lowers the risk of cardiovascular disease, fatigue, pain, cancer, and gastrointestinal complications. Resentment has also been found to increase the risk of cognitive impairment. Thus, letting go of resentment and embracing forgiveness enhances mental awareness and ability. 

Moreover, forgiveness has been discovered to improve social and psychological health. Additionally, it enhances your mood and leads to lower levels of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and loneliness. Forgiveness also leads to better relationships and can reduce incidences of self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

How to Practice Forgiveness and Let Go of Resentment

Forgiveness can be tough, especially when the hurt is from a loved one. However, it frees you. Therefore, you must learn to forgive, not only for the other person but for yourself, too. Forgiveness also includes self-forgiveness. Not many people know how to forgive themselves for their mistakes, which can lead to a negative cycle of self-hate and more mistakes. To practice forgiveness, you can use the REACH method proposed by Professor Everett Worthington.

Recall

To forgive, you must acknowledge that you have been hurt. Recall the pain you felt from the hurt and understand it is valid. Then, decide that you will forgive the offending individual without being nasty.

Empathize

The next step is to empathize with the person who offended you. Imagine that they are sitting across from you. Share your feelings with them, and then imagine you’re in their position and their defense. This way, you can act with compassion and heal more easily.

Altruistic Gift

You most likely would have offended someone who forgave you before. Think about how it felt to be forgiven and choose to give that gift to the other person. By doing this, you act selflessly and free yourself from hurt and pain.

Committing

Once you have forgiven the other person, you should commit to it. You can write a detailed note to yourself saying that you forgave the person who hurt you for what they did. This way, you acknowledge your commitment to forgiveness, making it last longer.

Hold Onto Forgiveness

Have you ever forgiven someone, and when you remembered the offense later, the hurt flooded back? Deciding to forgive does not automatically take away the pain. Thus, you need to hold onto the forgiveness you already gave them. Remind yourself that you forgave them and let go of the resentment. This is where the notes come in handy.

Forgiveness is a huge step. You don’t have to forget the pain before you forgive the offender. You also don’t have to pressure yourself into forgiveness. Try to work through your feelings first. This way, you can commit to it and golf on to the forgiveness you have offered.

#Clique, have you ever forgiven someone who hurt you? How did you let go of the hurt and resentment? Let us know in the comments.