Compromise in relationships is inevitable. However, the means through which it is achieved can be healthy or otherwise. It means settling disputes through mutual concession, but sometimes, the concession may not be mutual. Hence, the word has a negative connotation to many. Thankfully, it is possible to concede to your partner without feeling robbed of your dignity. In this article, you will learn how to compromise in relationships without being a loser.
Healthy Compromise Vs. Unhealthy Compromise
Compromise in relationships is a two-edged sword. It can keep partners happy and more respectful toward each other. On the other hand, it can also result in one person losing dignity while the other partner gets everything they want. In a healthy situation, compromise in relationships is mutual and not one-sided. It is also done with good intent. The focus is on keeping the relationship successful rather than massaging one person’s ego. Healthy compromise in relationships also helps both partners to maintain their identities.
Unfortunately, not many people know how to compromise healthily in relationships. They swallow their opinions and allow their partners to get their way every time. This may be a response to past experiences where their partners weaponized silence or became aggressive when they didn’t get their way. Some also give up on their dreams, professional goals, and interests as a way of compromise. So, how do you compromise without being a loser?
Find Your Identity
For compromise in relationships to be healthy, you must find your unique identity. Know who you are, the things you love, and your purpose. If you had any dreams growing up, review them and check if you are still on track. Discover your hobbies, passions, and goals. Knowing who you are will help you understand what matters most to you. It will also help you not to compromise on them. Compromising your identity, even without knowing what it is, will make you feel like a loser.
Don’t Give Up On Your Dreams
After discovering who you are, you should identify the ones that matter the most. These include the things that make you happy and your goals and aspirations. Then, decide which ones are non-negotiable. Do you value having children over having a career, or do you perhaps want to combine both? Is making money more important than other things? Identifying what is important will help you decide which parts, goals, and aspirations you won’t compromise. It will also guide your relationship choices.
Commit To Making Your Relationship a Success
Commit to putting your relationship above your ego so you can compromise without being a loser. If you don’t, you will also feel like a loser if you don’t get your way. Failure to bury your ego can also make you do things that make you a loser. Be more focused on injecting positives than negatives into your relationships. According to Eric Baker, partners can achieve a healthy balance of compromise in relationships when they are committed to each other’s needs and desires.
Don’t Be a Sore Loser
You will sometimes have different opinions and perspectives from your partner. Regardless of how similar your temperaments and interests are, you will only sometimes agree on everything. Hence, you will have to compromise in relationships sometimes. When this happens, don’t be a sore loser about it. Don’t resent your partner or make things difficult because you didn’t get your way. You can always discuss issues until you reach a conclusion that works for both of you.
Don’t Be Responsible For Your Partner’s Happiness
The final tip here for how to compromise in relationships is not to bear the burden for your partner’s happiness. This applies more when you have a timid or quiet personality. Recognize what unhealthy compromise in relationships looks like and refuse to allow it. Rather, stand your ground on your non-negotiables and don’t let anyone walk over you. Your partner will be fine whether or not you give in. Look out for yourself and your happiness, even as you consider your partner’s feelings.
Compromise in relationships is a dicey situation. However, you can compromise in relationships without becoming a loser. You just need to engage in constant and effective communication and consideration for your partner’s feelings.
#Clique, have you been overly compromising in a relationship to the extent that you lost yourself? How did you break out of those chains? Let us know in the comments.
