A young man has taken to Reddit to seek advice about recovering after learning about his cheating girlfriend. The Redditor, with the Reddit username RecoverOld1820, posted a story titled, “Just found out my (20m) girlfriend (19f) has been cheating on me for the past year. how do i cope?” In his story, Original Poster (OP) explained that he wanted to know how to get over his girlfriend, who had cheated and manipulated him for long. Redditors reacted to the story and advised OP on what to do. Get more details below.
OP Suspects He Has a Cheating Girlfriend
OP explained that he had a relationship with his girlfriend for three years. They met in high school when she was 16 and he was 17. Two years into their relationship, things went downhill, and the cheating girlfriend started lying and getting secretive. She stopped OP from seeing her, claiming it was due to depression. She also stopped being intimate with him for the same reason. When things continued for six months, OP got suspicious that he had a cheating girlfriend.
However, his attempts to prove his suspicions failed. OP’s girlfriend locked herself out of her social media when he asked her to add him. OP said:
“At this point i was so sure she was cheating. But this girl cried to me for days and days, wrote me paragraphs and paragraphs full of bullshit, swore on her little brother and promised me she wasn’t cheating and that her social media just wasn’t working for some reason.”
The 19-year-old said her tears convinced him she was being honest. She successfully manipulated him into thinking he was wrong. This continued for several months whenever he confronted her. The cheating girlfriend would also swear, blame her mental health, or gaslight him whenever he threatened to leave. She accused OP of cheating her and suspecting her when she was innocent, which made him feel terrible for doubting her.
OP’s Suspicions Confirmed
OP found out about his cheating girlfriend a week before his post. A friend revealed that his girlfriend had a secret Instagram account with many strange guys. Meanwhile, his girlfriend lied about her having deleted Instagram a year ago. OP confronted her, and she confessed to cheating on him for a year. However, she blamed OP for her unfaithfulness and left him. OP was hurt over his cheating girlfriend’s actions. He stated:
“It’s not only the fact that she cheated and lied, but also the fact that this girl had absolutely no remorse. She knew i loved her so much and she knew that her actions were breaking me for the last year. But she didn’t care at all. Not only was she cheating but she had a whole secret life with all these other guys. She turned out to be a completely different person and i just don’t know how to deal with it.”
OP said he realized after a week that his cheating girlfriend never cared about him. He cut off all contact and decided never to speak to her again. However, he was still hurting terribly. OP was also afraid that he might try to impress or compare himself to her new boyfriend, even though she didn’t deserve it. He also kept feeling betrayed and shocked about his cheating girlfriend’s actions.
OP concluded by asking:
“How do I stop feeling so worthless? How do I stop caring about her? How do I heal from this? how do i stop thinking about what she’s doing? how do i stop the urge to search for her and look her up? i just never want to care about her again.”
Other Redditors Share Their Thoughts
Redditors responded to OP’s story about his cheating girlfriend and shared their thoughts. A Redditor with the username AverryRose consoled OP and asked him to give himself some time to grieve. AverryRose also advised OP to focus on hobbies, friendships, and personal growth, including seeing a therapist. They urged OP to cut off all contact and block the cheating girlfriend’s social media. AverryRose concluded:
“When you feel worthless, remind yourself her actions reflect her, not you. give it time, the pain will fade. reflect on the relationship to know what you want in the future. you’ll get through this, just take it day by day.”
A second Redditor with username Brutal_De1uxe told OP to get revenge by using the pain as motivation. They asked OP to hit the gym and spend time on his hobby. Brutal_De1uxe further asked OP to focus on his achievements and get a new girlfriend when the time came.
A third Redditor, One-Panic-7884, told OP it wasn’t his fault his cheating girlfriend was unfaithful. He told OP it was fully his girlfriend’s decision to cheat despite her best efforts to convince him otherwise. One-Panic-7884 acknowledged that the situation would hurt and could cause self-doubt. Therefore, OP should grieve the loss of his relationship and allow the emotions.
The Redditor revealed that he went through a similar situation when he was almost 40. His ex-wife divorced him for being a liar, cheater, and manipulator. Although he felt terrible for some time, he started a better life without her. He also realized that his ex “was the one missing out,” not him.
#Clique, what do you think of OP’s story? Share your advice for him in the comments.
