The concept of self-compassion has been around for a while. However, many still equate it with self-esteem, self-love, or selfishness. However, self-compassion is very important and distinct from these three concepts. If you ever find it difficult to forgive yourself for the things you easily forgive others for, you must learn self-compassion. You also need it if you get angry with yourself for making mistakes. In this article, you will learn three effective techniques to be compassionate to yourself.

What is Self-compassion?

Self-compassion doesn’t make you self-indulgent or narcissistic; it makes you tame your inner critic. It is a three-part concept involving three constructs: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-compassion demands a positive outlook on yourself. It also teaches that you treat yourself with gentleness and understanding. You forgive yourself even for what you will consider a silly mistake and love yourself.

Self-Kindness

Sef-kindness is about being kind and understanding to yourself, especially in the face of adversity or setbacks. You don’t beat yourself up when you fail or make mistakes. You treat yourself with patience instead of harshly judging yourself. You also comfort and support yourself. Therefore, you still love yourself enough to respect yourself. Other ways to show self-kindness include being tolerant, caring, and tender during a tough time or despite perceived shortcomings or character flaws.

Common Humanity

Common humanity means understanding that you are part of something bigger than yourself. Humans long for connections and relationships that make us feel like we belong. This is the premise of common humanity. It reminds you that you are not alone. You can experience pain, rejection, fear, anxiety and make mistakes like everyone else. This makes it easier to accept your shortcomings and flaws and go easy on yourself.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is recognizing, acknowledging, and accepting your emotions without judgment. You don’t avoid or over-identify with your feelings. Rather, you recognize those emotions, whether they are positive or negative, without reacting. Mindfulness keeps you grounded in the present as you know what is ongoing within and around you. Mindfulness allows you to keep your feelings in balance and maintain perspective when you fail at important things.

How to Practice Self-compassion

Love Yourself Like You Would Others

Self-compassion can be harder than it sounds. However, a good place to start is to treat yourself the way you would treat a beloved friend or a respected stranger. Imagine how you would react if someone you admired tripped, broke a plate, or choked on their line. Would you blame them for it or mock them? You can start loving and treating yourself like others by acknowledging that mistakes are normal. Understand that you’re human, and so you’re not perfect.

You should also comfort yourself like you would a friend. Consider how you would comfort a hurting friend and treat yourself that way. Be empathetic and understanding when you are grieving or hurt physically and emotionally. Don’t suppress your emotions or think you’re doing too much if you need to cry. You could also pat yourself and call yourself some terms of endearment.

Change Your Perspective

Sometimes, all you need to do to be self-compassionate is to change your perspective. Oftentimes, when you focus on yourself too much, you can forget that other people exist. This can make you concentrate too much on what you have done, causing you to be critical. When you change your perspective, you can also realize that you don’t need the validation of strangers and friends to love yourself. This will help you to be self-compassionate as you try to figure out your identity.

Trying to fit in will only make you critical and judgmental of yourself, which can make you fall into the abyss of self-blame and hatred. Don’t try to do things or look a certain way because of other people. Don’t tie your self-worth to the way other people perceive you. Realize that you are worthy of kindness and love. Therefore, be kind to yourself and others. When you are kind to others, you will realize you are not the only one with weaknesses. This will allow you to give yourself grace and practice self-compassion.

Be More Self-Aware

Another technique to help you be kinder to yourself is to be more self-aware or emotionally intelligent. Accept yourself, flaws and all. Self-compassion teaches you to embrace your strengths and weaknesses even as you work toward becoming a better person. Self-compassion makes that journey easier and more fulfilling. It helps you recognize that your emotions and thoughts don’t define you; everyone goes through them. The difference is how you channel those feelings and thoughts daily.

You should also forgive yourself and not judge yourself harshly or quickly. Don’t feel bad for getting upset or expressing your opinions. Don’t cringe at the sound of your voice, either. Moreover, don’t assume that you’re always a certain way. Try to view yourself differently, and perhaps you will see a change. Finally, practice mindfulness to remain grounded and more self-compassionate.

Self-compassion will help you become well-rounded by improving your mental and physical health. It will also make you more valuable to society because you cannot truly love others until you have learned to be self-compassionate.

#Clique, did you find this article helpful? Will you implement the techniques highlighted in it? What do you hope to achieve after doing so? Let us know in the comments.