A young woman has taken to Reddit to ask whether she misread the signs her male friend put out. The Redditor, with the Reddit username hopeless_romantic_97, posted a story titled, “I [27F] decided to shoot my shot with my guy friend [27M], but what signs did I misread?” In her story, Original Poster (OP) explained that she asked a guy she was always interested in out. However, she ended up getting rejected. Redditors reacted to the story and advised OP on what to do. Get more details below.
OP Reconnects With Old Friend
OP explained that she had a male friend with whom she grew up. They also went to the same university and worked in the same field. OP always had a crush on him but kept it to herself. The 27-year-old explained that she admired him for his values, and they always had a great relationship. Moreover, the man was the only male friend she kept in touch with. OP and her friend lost contact after he got engaged. However, they reconnected by chance four months before her post.
The friends kept in touch and began texting again. OP discovered that her friend was a recent graduate and needed a job. She offered him some job-related advice, which kept their conversation going. OP also learned that her friend’s engagement had been called off for over a year. The duo started hanging out, and OP noticed that her friend had become more open. He used to be reserved and never shared, but they had deep conversations this time.
OP Thinks Her Friend Shares Her Attraction
The pair talked for over four hours, during which OP’s friend held her gaze and mentioned her name a few times. This made OP think her friend also liked her. OP added:
“He also texted me afterward saying he had a good time and this was a good hangout. I knew my feelings for him were resurfacing after this and I thought that he was pretty much feeling a similar way with all the changes in his behavior compared to the rest of my life of knowing him.”
The friends went out again a week before OP’s post and spent five hours together. Again, OP took note of the signs and was fairly sure her friend liked her. She wrote:
“I thought to myself that guys at this age would not be hanging out with a girl just as a friend when they were already busy adjusting to a new and difficult career. He only has Wednesdays off and that’s when we would hang out. It didn’t make sense to me that he’d free up those days to spend time with me if there wasn’t some sort of interest in me.”
OP Ends Up Getting Rejected
OP’s friend suggested a third meet-up after their second outing. Therefore, OP decided to ask him out. However, she was shy and wanted to avoid getting rejected. Hence, she resolved to ask him out via text message. However, OP’s friend told her he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. The Redditor was crushed and cried throughout the night. She also questioned the signs she saw and asked herself whether she misread them. OP noted that she was a Muslim, so she wasn’t exposed to dating. She added:
“I never made a move or anything before for this reason. He also never behaved inappropriately with me in any way, very much respected boundaries so we didn’t touch or hug or anything, again cuz of our religion).”
OP concluded:
“Tldr: I decided to shoot my shot with my guy friend but basically got rejected even though there were many signs imo that showed he would be interested as per advice from others in my life. Now I’m wondering if I misjudged every interaction or if it was obvious that he only wanted a platonic friendship.”
Other Redditors Share Their Thoughts
Redditors responded to OP’s story about getting rejected and shared their thoughts. A Redditor with the username or2n8Witch told OP she misread her friend’s signs. They told OP that her friend probably just enjoyed having conversations with her. They told her that “making eye contact, having conversations, and saying your name a few times isn’t flirting” but simply normal, respectful communication. However, they assured OP she would get over the rejection and embarrassment since it was common to everyone.
Another Redditor, WildlifePolicyChick, told OP that getting rejected didn’t have to mean the end of her relationship. They told her that her friend could find her attractive but unwilling to be in a relationship. Meanwhile, he enjoyed her company, so if she could be friends without expecting his feelings to change, they could maintain their friendship.
A third Redditor, Mj1980, told OP she should have asked her friend out to his face. That way, she could read his face even if she ended up getting rejected. Mj1980 said OP’s friend could have responded out of fear or hurt and that he may have wanted to be cautious before entering another relationship.
Another Redditor, Prestigious-Ticket71, told OP that having a crush can make people misinterpret their words and actions. They said OP’s religious restrictions on dating could have worsened the situation. However, they applauded OP’s bravery and asked her not to beat herself up for rejection.
#Clique, what do you think of OP’s story? Have you been in a similar situation before? How did you handle it? Let us know in the comments.
