Worried Man Seeks Advice as Girlfriend Hasn’t Said “I Love You” for Almost a Year

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A man has taken to Reddit to seek advice about his girlfriend’s actions. The man, with Reddit username Sufficient_Sock_9129, posted a story titled, “My 24M] GF [26M] still hasn’t said ILY back after almost a year. What can I do?” In his story, Original Poster (OP) detailed how long he and his girlfriend have dated and explained how she had never used a particular word of affirmation. Redditors reacted to the man’s story and advised him on what to do. Get more details below.

Girlfriend Won’t Say I Love You

OP began by explaining that he and his partner had been together for almost a year. He revealed that he had said “I love you” very directly twice. However, she was yet to say it back. OP shared that he understood that everyone had a suitable pace, and he even waited for six to seven months to tell his girlfriend he loved her. He also mentioned that she has trouble with words of affirmation because they freak her out. The man added:


“I think she told her ex in around the 7 month mark also. Which really annoys me too, because I personally see that we have a better relationship and have been through a lot together.”

OP concluded by asking:


“What do you think? How could I approach this?”

Other Redditors Share Their Thoughts

Several Redditors read OP’s story and shared their thoughts. A Redditor with username Charlielovestuna said that silence could sometimes be deafening and likened OP’s situation to such times. The Redditor also said OP couldn’t make his girlfriend say words she didn’t want to. However, they advised OP to have a hard and possibly painful conversation with her about his feelings.

Another Redditor with the username Betelgeuzflower asked OP if he had talked to his girlfriend about how she felt. They reasoned that she was probably trying to be careful because she might have had negative experiences with people she had said “I love you” to in the past. Betelgeuzflower narrated how they had been in a similar situation with a girl who expressed her love after their breakup. They concluded:

“It could be emotional immaturity. Just talk to her and try to determine what the situation is.”

A third Redditor, ButterflyDecay, opined that love language differs for everyone. Hence, just because OP’s girlfriend doesn’t say “I love you” doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings for him. She could just express her love in another way. ButterflyDecay also advised OP not to compare himself with his girlfriend’s ex, adding:

“That’s just bitterness and resentment waiting to happen. I mean, maybe she didn’t mean it with her ex, which is why it was easier for her to say it to him? Now, because it’s serious and she actually really feels something for you, she may have a harder time actually saying it.”

ButterflyDecay concluded by telling OP that no two relationships are alike. OP agreed with ButterflyDecay’s sentiments and revealed that his girlfriend expresses her feelings and cares. However, he still wondered how long it would take or what she needed to be comfortable and confident in her feelings. OP concluded by saying it hurt to say “I love you” and not hear it back.

#Clique, what do you think about OP’s story? Do you think saying “I love you” is necessary in relationships and shows one’s true feelings? What is your advice for OP as he deals with this situation? Let us know.

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