Motherhood is an identity shift resulting in an emotional psychological awakening of oneself. These factors can challenge a woman entirely and force adjustment due to a woman’s unrealistic expectation of motherly transitions.

The media often masks the realities of motherhood causing conflict in many young women’s lives who may not receive their maternal instinct right away after giving birth. In most cases, this is a clear representation of the concept of Maternal Ambivalence.

Women should be more honest and open to discussing the complexities of motherhood. As a mother myself, I can see the standards of perfectionism and self-judgment we hold ourselves accountable for and they are unrealistic. Here is some advice to navigate through this tough beautiful journey:

1. Do Not Forget About Yourself, Mama

As a first-time mom, oftentimes, you are put on the back burner for your new bundle of joy. Although your loved ones are excited about the new addition to the family, it is common that mothers are no longer the top priority you once were. It is a great feeling to see your loved ones in awe of your blessing, but do not forget to give yourself that same love and attention. You need it now more than ever!

2. Be Patient 

Give yourself some grace mama. Be patient with yourself, be kind. You may have raised other children, but those experiences do not compare to beginning your own journey as a parent. Every child is different, just like every pregnancy is different, so why would you expect the same version of yourself? Get rid of the pressures that society puts out there of maternal ambivalence. Take your time learning about yourself and your baby in this new chapter, and minimize those expectations you have of yourself. It will be easier to enjoy these new moments with your family.

3. Find Your Tribe/Support System

Every day you wake up as a mom, you wake up with your invisible capes on. It is fine to not be super mom sometimes. Do not be afraid to ask for help when it is needed. Build your tribe and create a support system that can aid you when you can’t help yourself. It can be tiresome trying to balance your wants and needs; however, it’s necessary to make the time. You are not a burden, allow your village to contribute.