People fall in and out of love. Some even say you can meet your soulmate while being married to your wife. While this sounds strange, it is also true. Breaking things off with someone you made promises to can make you feel like a jerk, but in the end, you need to move on and be happy alone or with your newly found partner.
The big question remains: can you call it quits and forgive yourself enough to move on?
Saying I am no longer in love with you sounds harsh, and rather than handle the sadness from letting your former lover down, many take the easier root — ghosting. They resort to keeping away and cancelling any form of communication with that person until he or she gets the memo. But there are ways to break up and break free of blame completely.
Have a compelling feeling that you are ready to let go
Make sure that your breakup is not due to lust or infatuation for another. Do not end years of romance with a childhood sweetheart because of your younger secretary. If it is a spark you want, it’s best to ignite it. But if you are certain that it’s love you feel, then go for it.
You should have a well-planned talk with your soon-to-be ex, telling them your reasons gently. Also, never make the mistake of being absent from your relationship and allowing your partner to find out about a new romance. This may lead to unforgiveness and guilt even after the breakup.
Don’t talk down on your ex
While giving your breakup speech, try to appreciate the good sides of your ex rather than complain about their inadequacies. Tell your ex-partner how difficult your conclusion feels, but maintain kindness and civility throughout, even if it will be an uncomfortable speech.
Leave out the lie
The “it’s not you, it’s me” lie can sound degrading to the listener. Do away with it. Instead, be direct and conscious of how the other party feels. In all you do, don’t try to force continuous contact with the person except when necessary. Allow them the time to heal and grieve. Also, avoid talking about your new romance with them or mutual friends.
