Conflict in your marriage or relationship is nothing new, but seeking a resolution should not be thrown out the window. In matters of the heart, we may express our preferences but ultimately accept what comes. When you choose to stay committed to your partner, be prepared to experience a range of events, from managing their flaws to understanding their background.
Relationship conflicts indicate that you are doing things the right way. However, it’s important to never go to bed angry and try to resolve issues as quickly as possible. Not many people know how to solve the conflicts they face. But did you know there are steps to try before seeking a therapist or ending the relationship?
Never Cross a Line During Conflict Resolution
At the beginning of your relationship, establish boundaries that neither of you crosses when angry. It doesn’t matter what or where the conflict occurs; resolving it becomes easier when there is mutual respect in the relationship. Randy Brazzel, a certified family therapist based in Houston, says:
“If you want honest dialogue, you have to treat each other with respect and kindness. Everyone benefits when there is an atmosphere of mutual respect.”
Indeed, eliminating violence, shouting, tantrums and abusive language can help cool down relationship conflicts.
Identify Protective Behaviors
Nobody wants to feel violated or vulnerable. During conflicts, many individuals instinctively protect themselves through different learned strategies. Your ability to recognize these behaviors will determine how you handle your partner. Instead of feeling attacked, you can learn to show empathy. These behaviors may include defensiveness or leaving before issues are resolved.
In the words of Michele Pavia, a practitioner of Zen Buddhism, “Conflict is expected and does not imply that your partner doesn’t love you. In fact, all relationships filled with love experience some form of conflict.”
Consider Delving Deep to Identify the Root of the Conflict
Before aiming for conflict resolution, consider returning to when the situation began. Ask yourself if you or your loved ones feel suffocated and how they contribute to your happiness. Also, try to determine if you are part of the problem.
Therapist’s Help Should Not be Underestimated in Conflict Resolution
The assistance provided by someone who has studied marriages and relationships should not be underestimated. When it comes to conflict resolution, seeking the help of a therapist can help you uncover problems you never thought existed. It can also facilitate quicker resolution, especially if you are honest.
Know When to Pause
Either of you can become overwhelmed with emotions. Resist the urge to keep explaining your side. Conflict resolution can only occur if both parties do not allow their emotions to take over. Taking a pause can also help you avoid saying hurtful things.
Before involving a third party, try to resolve your relationship conflicts together. After all, you fell in love with each other. Additionally, be open-minded and receptive to corrections or observations from your partner when necessary.
