Growth Stumbling Blocks: The Influence of a ‘People Pleaser’ Mentality

pleasing-everyone
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Pleasing everyone can be exhausting. For instance, thinking about how X will feel if you reject their proposal. Their future disappointment, anger, or criticism makes you sick. Apart from how your “no” may sound, you run away from conflicts and do not want to confront anyone. Most times, obliging someone else’s request is inconvenient, yet you do not mind. News flash: you are in for an unending ride of non-satisfaction. At the end of the day, you will feel exhausted and witness little or no growth. But there is one more thing: pleasing everyone is not a criterion to make them like you!

Ways Pleasing People Can Hurt You

People Will Always Feel Disappointed

Once your ability to please everyone has been registered in their subconscious, you become their go-to person. This often does not play out as you would expect because they end up feeling disappointed if you do not budge. If you thought pleasing people would make you feel appreciated, you better think twice.

You Never Fully Live Life

This is because pleasing people would leave you empty. At the same time, you would be unable to make solid decisions as people’s timetables will mess up yours. You will always feel indebted and never apply yourself to living your life.

Socially, you may be restricted to your idea of fun to please people who wouldn’t do the same in return. For instance, you may be scared of posting nice pictures to avoid hurting people.

There Is Never Enough

The end of pleasing everyone is met with emptiness and a desire to do more. Somehow, you have trained yourself to do things for people; you keep doing it, and the demands never stop. As it continues, you lose yourself in the process.

It Becomes an Addiction

Pleasing everyone can be addictive, says Live Bold and Bloom. If you have failed to apply mental gymnastics or critical thinking, you may feel compensated with their “thank you” and “I love you.” Initially, you feel validated but need more to fill that hollow bank. So you keep doing and doing.

If you intend to stop pleasing everyone, try to see yourself as someone of value because that’s what you are. Be content with how your loved ones see you, love yourself, set boundaries, and share your problem with a trusted person. Most importantly, it’s right to make people happy, but do not do it at your detriment “always.”

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