Addiction recovery can be a tough phase both for the person with an addiction and their loved ones. During this period, you may think you must do all they want to help them. However, everyone, including recovering addicts, needs some tough love sometimes. Thus, it would help if you could differentiate between supporting a person in addiction recovery and enabling them. Knowing the difference will help you support them as they make their way through the process.
What Is Enablement?
Loved ones can enable addiction for many reasons. It feels good to help them, and you may think you are doing them a favor. However, enablement makes things worse and can stall their addiction recovery. It can be intentional or otherwise. Nevertheless, it involves supplying them with the resources to continue their destructive habits. It is usually well-intentioned and even sounds good to describe, but you are only helping them destroy themselves more.
You can enable addiction by making excuses for the person’s behavior or covering up for them. Giving them money or resources that will allow them access to addictive substances and shielding them from consequences is also enabling behavior. Other examples include prioritizing their needs over yours and isolating yourself from other friends and family members. Another classic example is refusing to make the right decisions out of fear. For instance, giving them money so that they don’t go no-contact.
How To Support Addiction Recovery Without Enabling
Addiction not only affects addicts; it affects everyone around them. Therefore, addicts need all the help they can get to recover. You can support people with an addiction without enabling them. This way, they are better motivated to change. The chances of a relapse are also greatly reduced because they will go through the pain of addiction recovery. Therefore, detach lovingly while providing the needed support. Support addiction recovery without worsening the situation in the following ways:
Be Clear About Boundaries and Stick to Them
Let the person in addiction recovery know what your boundaries are. Let them know your expectations and your limits. For instance, don’t lie or cover up for them or give them money. You could also tell them they’re not welcome in your home if they keep taking substances. It would help if you also were explicit about the consequences of them crossing the lines.
Let Them Face The Consequences of Their Action
Seeing a child, spouse, sibling, or loved one go through a hard time can be tough. However, you must never shield them from the consequences of their actions. Don’t let anyone in addiction recovery evade accountability or responsibility. If they mess up, leave them to face the music. This way, they know you won’t tolerate wrongdoing and go into addiction recovery faster.
Don’t Support Them Financially
One of the best ways to enable a person with an addiction is to give them money. Giving them money or other resources will provide them with access to drugs or other substances you’re trying to keep them away from. Rather, offer them emotional support and encouragement. Offer a listening ear when needed, but don’t give them money.
Don’t Validate Their Actions
Telling someone in addiction recovery the things they want to hear will only worsen their addiction. You may feel sorry for them when they break down and want to validate their actions, but you shouldn’t. People with an addiction can be manipulative, so beware of such traps. Don’t encourage their addictions, regardless of the reasons they give.
Suggest Professional Care
Know that you are not responsible for your loved ones’ addiction recovery. Rather, encourage them to be accountable for turning their lives around. Talk to them about getting professional help or joining addiction recovery groups. You can also encourage them to keep up with their treatments. You can also join these sessions to learn about the addiction recovery process.
Addiction recovery requires patience, sympathy, and compassion. If you have someone going through the process, know that recovery is not linear. There can be good and bad days. Therefore, you need to be armed with the right knowledge. Meanwhile, addiction recovery can be exhausting. Consequently, it would help if you took care of your well-being while at it.
#Clique, have you taken care of someone recovering from addiction? How was the experience? What steps did you take to avoid enabling them? Let us know in the comments.