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Category: Relationships & Advice

  • Engagement Etiquette: The Optimal Moment to Say ‘Yes!’

    Engagement Etiquette: The Optimal Moment to Say ‘Yes!’

    Getting engaged is a big step in your relationship journey. It means that you have agreed to overlook your partner’s flaws or shortcomings. In other words, you are ready to settle with the person. Some people know the minute they meet their other half that an engagement is certain. For others, it may take longer. So, it is never a question of how long you have been dating. Some signs matter when getting engaged. See them below.

    Signs That You May Be Getting Engaged Soon

    Whether from a place of popping or answering the big question, here are signs that should top your list:

    Shared Values With Your Partner

    Before bending the knee and saying the “yes” of a lifetime, be convinced that you share basic values and beliefs with your other half. Understandably, lovers have their differences influenced over the years by their backgrounds and environment. But some things can never be overlooked. Do you think alike when it comes to family, the number of kids, religion, and understanding boundaries? If yes, then getting engaged is probably how to begin your forever journey.

    Family and Friends Give A Nod

    Once the people around you become familiar with your lover and they feel it’s time to think about an engagement, then give it a thought. This does not translate to you not being able to handle your business. However, when family and friends believe in a relationship, it’s likely to soar, irrespective of what appears to be a stumbling block.

    You Feel Comfortable

    When there is no need to hide your true nature, including likes, dislikes, family history, and even fears. This may involve discussing a future engagement and your goals for the relationship. Once you get to this point, getting engaged should be a piece of cake.

    Getting Engaged Is Better When You Two Are Mentally Ready

    No matter the pressure from family, friends, or your partner, you only get engaged when the feeling is mutual.

    Brides advises that you slow down the brakes of an engagement until you’re convinced that it is right for you. Typically, some couples date for a year and above before taking the big step. But this does not guarantee a successful marriage. Meanwhile, dating for a short period is usually not the norm, as there are things you may discover in the long run. Usually, the honeymoon phase of most relationships lasts for about a year.

  • Decode the Signs: Five Clear Indicators Your Situationship Might Be Stuck in Limbo

    Decode the Signs: Five Clear Indicators Your Situationship Might Be Stuck in Limbo

    Situationships can be considered an undefined or indeterminate sexual or romantic relationship. The people involved are more than friends but are not strictly committed to each other. With the advancement of the world, many people prefer to settle for situationships. This is because it comes with less baggage, including commitment and loyalty.

    However, in situationships, one person may likely wish for it to grow into something serious. These are signs that the situationship may not turn into a relationship.

    Not Being A Part Of Their Plans

    Whether as a man or woman, if your other half in the situationship does not see long-term goals with you, then it’s a sign. If you only meet up at the movies or their house to play and have sex, you could as well shut the door to anything meaningful in most cases. When the situationship is ready to proceed or get serious, you will realize that they willingly want you integrated into every area of their lives.

    No Milestones

    When you do not see yourselves celebrating your friendships, having dinner dates with families, or saying “I love you” to each other. This is the time when you might want to review your situationship. But if it’s okay to continue if it suits your need(s).

    When Boredom Hits High

    Doing things that make you two happy without restrictions should be the order of the day. It’s time to exit when the situationship loses that spark or naughtiness.

    No Talk About The Future

    Like the first point, your situationship will seem stuck if you only talk about the present. There is nothing to show that they want to have a family or future with you. You two may have a smooth sail but avoid discussing where the relationship leads.

    Nothing Shows That You Are Special

    There is a lot of potential in every situationship. Even though it is a situationship, you should be treated with respect. But the moment your partner tries to avoid being with you in public, it’s a thumbs down.

    InStyle emphasizes that situationships can be positive only when you and your partner are on the same page. The only way to make this happen is by communication and never assumption. Explain your fears and desires. If it locks in, then you are in luck!

  • Did You Fall For A Man Child? Discover The 5 Telltale Signs Your Partner May Possess The ‘Peter Pan’ Syndrome

    Did You Fall For A Man Child? Discover The 5 Telltale Signs Your Partner May Possess The ‘Peter Pan’ Syndrome

    Dating a man-child is every woman’s nightmare. But not every woman knows when she has been trapped in a romance with a man suffering from “Peter Pan” syndrome. So what are the signs to expect, and are there valid reasons to end a romance with such an individual?

    Five Signs Look Out For Before Tagging Him a Man-Child

    As an adult, you are only permitted to be a child at heart. And this relates strictly to having a forgiving heart. But a man-child tends to be a child in every part of life, including vital areas like his relationship.
    The signs of a man-child are always there, it may vary in terms of intensity. However, when your partner exhibits them, know that he still has much growing up to do.

    Here are the top convincing signs that you are dating a man who still acts like a child.

    Unreliable

    One of the glaring signs of a man-child is that he is never reliable. Sometimes, he doesn’t feel pushed enough to get on with an activity. While other times, he just cannot imagine why you may be fussing over a “vital” issue. It could be holding the car door for you, following you to an ultrasound scan, or hearing you talk about your new job. He just does not get it.

    A Man-Child is Never Truly Financially Independent

    If the man you are dating relies heavily on others or you to sort out a financial crisis, he may be a child. He might have refused to be accountable for his actions and life, which puts him in such a dilemma. The importance of financial independence should be a priority for a grown man.

    Uncoordinated

    He is not ready for adult conversation if he fails to take charge of his finances, emotions, life goals, and home. Dating a man-child would leave you doubting your sanity sometimes. Imagine entering into a home that looks burglarized because of his mess. Or getting talked down to because your partner refuses to showcase emotional intelligence.

    Lack of Romantic Finesse

    A man-child can have a completely abstract idea of romance. For instance, women love going on dates, and it is tagged a mature man’s move. Dates symbolize investment in the relationship. If your partner does not take you out on dates, it may be a sign that he’s a man-child.

    Ambiguous Future Plans

    A distinguishable feature of a mature man is a well-planned future. It’s more attractive to ladies when a man knows what he wants from life. This can be a problem for a man-child due to his immature features. This means if your partner does not have a clearly spelt-out plan for the future, he may be a man-child.

    According to Instyle, love may not be enough to carry the burden of a man-child in a relationship. If the goal is marriage, you better have a rethink. As an individual, it’s not ideal to be in a relationship if you are not mature and ready emotionally, psychologically, and mentally.

  • Keeping Healthy Friendships After Marriage

    Maintaining friendships after marriage can be tasking. This is because marriage is a big step and comes with certain changes in a person’s life, including friendships. But the questions you would like to ask yourself are:

    • How long has your friend been in your life?
    • How helpful is that friendship?
    • Why do you feel the need to end or continue the friendship?
    • What does your spouse or partner think about friendship?

    In all you do, never make it about yourself. Run it by your partner, and ensure it does not affect your marriage. According to Boundless, here are some to-dos when considering friendships after marriage. Note that these points are a two-way sling for both married couples and those who intend to maintain their friendship with them.

    Reach Out First

    Those in the “single-hood” know that maintaining your friendship with your married friend can be critical. This is because they are just starting life on a new wavelength. Their priorities would change, and sometimes, saying hi to you never came up. The best you can do for a dear friend is to ask them how they are doing, not share the blame for being negligent.

    Never Assume They Want To Be Left Alone

    Maintaining that friendship might mean a lot to you even after marriage. As a married or single person, the burdens of life can be overwhelming. So, if you see your relationship or friendship with someone being threatened, save it!

    Make Time For Friendly Gatherings

    As a newlywed, invite your single friends over after settling down properly. That way, friendships with your single and married friends can be maintained. Importantly, ensure that your partner is cool with the idea. Play games and do all the fun things together. It could also be a girls’ or boys’ trip.

    Run It By Your Other Half

    Your friendship can only continue after marriage if your lover has permitted you. Remember that you decided to commit to a marriage, so be wise enough to include your spouse in every decision.

    Ask Yourself If The Friendship Is Worth It?

    This has nothing to do with being insecure. This is when you think critically about who to hang with. Even if you don’t have ulterior motives, it’s not right to be with the opposite gender without your partner’s consent. After marriage, you become more considerate of your friendship choices.

    Conclusively, except if you run an open marriage, never underestimate the power of choices. Do not act careless with your partner’s emotions to feed your ego. The number one friendship worth maintaining after marriage is with your partner. Every other relationship is secondary. This does not mean you cut off ties with your friends, but you know when to draw the line. It means you respect your partner.

  • Common Ways To Define Healthy Relationships

    Common Ways To Define Healthy Relationships

    Healthy relationships should be defined. Such an approach ensures that your emotions are checked and helps you grow. In the affairs of the heart, we may state our preferences but accept what finally comes along. While this may translate as love being blind, it also has its downside. Taking what comes even when you have standards can be that you genuinely fall in love with someone you never expected to seem attractive. On the other hand, it could also translate as you taking what or whoever is available despite setting standards. In the end, your happiness matters, and you should not compromise on that.

    Having established that, you must know that there are common ways to define a relationship. Defining your romance or friendship turns it into a healthy and desirable one. Before going into your “butterflies in my tummy” phase, practice these steps:

    Cautiousness

    In beginning a defined relationship, you must be able to filter who stays and goes in your life. By being cautious, you decipher the ones you keep as friends and those who never make it past the acquaintance line.

    Curiousness

    Whether as a romantic partner or not, practising curiosity is key to developing a healthy and defined relationship. And no, in terms of your well-being, curiosity won’t kill the cat. This is the phase when you spend time with people or that special someone who caught your eye. At this point, you begin to feel interested in knowing their life pattern. This is when you make the big decision to continue or press pause.

    Confidence

    All healthy relationships begin with one person expressing confidence in another. You can talk to a listening ear and one who offers comfort or a solution. This stage also helps you process the person’s importance to you as a friend or lover.

    Connection

    There is no denying that the attraction exists. In this defining relationship stage, you want to feel that your attention is being reciprocated.

    Commitment

    This seals the deal to a defined relationship. Now you know you two are in this together, and there is no going back. Well, unless the connection or bond turns sour.

    Boundless.org advises you to be one step ahead in your relationship by consciously defining it. That way, you avoid committing to the bad eggs and enjoy the boundless possibilities of falling for the right one without vulnerability.

  • When to Embrace Change for Love and When to Stay True: A Guide for Relationship Choices

    When to Embrace Change for Love and When to Stay True: A Guide for Relationship Choices

    In life, change is constant, but is love a big enough deal to influence it? Is love worth changing your personality? We agree that love can be blind in a healthy way. It means you are willing to make compromises and ignore your partner’s mistakes. But when must you see how much good or bad love is doing to your romance? This question is answered when we analyze why people change for their partners and accept the love they think they deserve.

    When to Change for Love

    The reasons you should accept change to please your partner should be positive. According to aconsciousrethink.com, you are influenced by your lover whether you believe it or not. This is because most people spend more time with their beau and subconsciously pick up attitudes and behaviours. Some even go on to change their beliefs. But this is how to know it’s for the best.

    When it makes you:

    A Better Version of Yourself

    Be sure you are not oblivious to what a better version of yourself is. This doesn’t mean you become more demanding or accept being controlled. You must learn to be more open to criticism, forgive easily, and apologize when wrong.

    Learn From The Relationship

    As a man or woman, there is always some learning. Don’t mistake being at the peak of your career as the only achievement when you are in a relationship. You can learn simple and basic things from your partner. Funnily enough, this learning would improve your thinking process as an individual and help your romance.

    When Not to Make the Change for Love

    Are you being coerced to think and act like someone’s ex? Or is the change detrimental to your growth? Then don’t do it.

    You Do Not Need to Change for Love If:

    Your partner is bullying you to change. It could be through gaslighting, manipulation, or outright force. Never settle for such a reason. If you feel the change will not make you thrive or be happy in the relationship, do not change for love! To safeguard your mental health, it’s safe to exit the relationship at this point.

    When Your Partner Feels You Need to Make the Change Alone

    If the change is not from both ends, it might not be necessary to do it in the name of love. Grab your thinking caps, have conversations, and observe why change should occur. Once you notice that your other half is going overboard and unwilling to compromise, ensure that you don’t effect any change until both parties agree on a standpoint!

    Understand that every relationship goes through a process from the beginning until it ends. You are two individuals from different backgrounds and different values. No matter the level of compatibility, there will be little adjustments as time goes on.

  • Growth Stumbling Blocks: The Influence of a ‘People Pleaser’ Mentality

    Growth Stumbling Blocks: The Influence of a ‘People Pleaser’ Mentality

    Pleasing everyone can be exhausting. For instance, thinking about how X will feel if you reject their proposal. Their future disappointment, anger, or criticism makes you sick. Apart from how your “no” may sound, you run away from conflicts and do not want to confront anyone. Most times, obliging someone else’s request is inconvenient, yet you do not mind. News flash: you are in for an unending ride of non-satisfaction. At the end of the day, you will feel exhausted and witness little or no growth. But there is one more thing: pleasing everyone is not a criterion to make them like you!

    Ways Pleasing People Can Hurt You

    People Will Always Feel Disappointed

    Once your ability to please everyone has been registered in their subconscious, you become their go-to person. This often does not play out as you would expect because they end up feeling disappointed if you do not budge. If you thought pleasing people would make you feel appreciated, you better think twice.

    You Never Fully Live Life

    This is because pleasing people would leave you empty. At the same time, you would be unable to make solid decisions as people’s timetables will mess up yours. You will always feel indebted and never apply yourself to living your life.

    Socially, you may be restricted to your idea of fun to please people who wouldn’t do the same in return. For instance, you may be scared of posting nice pictures to avoid hurting people.

    There Is Never Enough

    The end of pleasing everyone is met with emptiness and a desire to do more. Somehow, you have trained yourself to do things for people; you keep doing it, and the demands never stop. As it continues, you lose yourself in the process.

    It Becomes an Addiction

    Pleasing everyone can be addictive, says Live Bold and Bloom. If you have failed to apply mental gymnastics or critical thinking, you may feel compensated with their “thank you” and “I love you.” Initially, you feel validated but need more to fill that hollow bank. So you keep doing and doing.

    If you intend to stop pleasing everyone, try to see yourself as someone of value because that’s what you are. Be content with how your loved ones see you, love yourself, set boundaries, and share your problem with a trusted person. Most importantly, it’s right to make people happy, but do not do it at your detriment “always.”

  • Is There a Difference Between Want and Desire?

    Is There a Difference Between Want and Desire?

    Distinguishing between want and desire may be confusing to most people. What you mostly know stands side by side is “want versus need.” People often categorize the needs of a person as the most important things in their lives. And if they do without these things, including values, relationships, and lifestyle, their existence would not make sense. While this is not entirely false, your wants are just as crucial to you. This time we will focus on the lens of wants and desires. Following the exercise carried out by the participants of a program with Joanna Shakti’s Ecstatic Intimacy, this difference will be highlighted.

    Want and Desire Explained

    Wants and desires are nearly similar in meaning, yet one sounds more indulging than the other. According to Ecstatic Intimacy, wants set boundaries or limitations. When a person circles around a want, it means emphasis is placed on the missing pieces in their lives. But this is also subject to the law of nature. Even though more energy is expelled to find that missing thing in our lives, it may become farther from us. Rather than finding it, we begin to attract what we lack, which is synonymous with our needs.

    On the other hand, desire broadens our views on things. Unlike wants, desire needs to be felt and eventually described. Somehow, this works in agreement with the laws of the universe. As we crave or desire something, we begin to attract it to ourselves.

    Turning Wants Into Desires

    Consequently, making your wants your desires can get it faster to you than you ever imagined. So while you believe your life would receive a boost with that dream woman or man, don’t just wish it by merely wanting it; start to desire it.

    Ecstatic Intimacy advises that by feeling your desire, you live a happier and more fulfilling life. At the same time, it comes sooner than expected. Along with your positive mindset and attitude, be sure to write down these wants and believe in them always!

  • Five Steps to Becoming A Happy Couple

    Five Steps to Becoming A Happy Couple

    There is no mystery behind the fulfilment of happy couples that is beyond human compression. Although some people think it is big work, others feel that the happy ones are the lucky ones. The truth about a happy relationship is that it requires commitment and discipline.

    But know this: happy couples do not fall from the sky and do not happen by magic. Relationship experts love to proffer the solution to happiness in a book, writing that there is a formula, but that isn’t usually the case in reality. However, there are some key features every happy couple practices in their way.

    Happy Couple Do These Five Things

    Having a healthy and happy relationship means that you practice these features including:

    Investing Your Emotions Equally

    In a world where technology has taken centre stage, showing your partner that you cherish spending natural time with them will be nice. This means keeping away gadgets and scheduling outdoor dates where you speak to each other without interference. Staying connected emotionally also involves prioritizing alone time between the two of you. This should not be a one-sided thing. Happy couples engage in these activities to keep the fire burning and show how much they mean to each other.

    A Constant Review Of How Far Your Relationship Has Come

    Intentional couple who crave happiness never misses the chance to evaluate their growth. This work helps them strategize and know what to add and omit in their romantic lives.

    Entertain Disagreements

    Happy couples fight; do not let anybody tell you otherwise. The only difference is that happy couples know when you draw the line. They never go to bed angry and try to reach a compromise when need be. Entertaining disagreement will help you pinpoint what your better half sees as wrong and right.

    Never Skip The Apologies

    No matter how long you have been with your partner, do not assume that their hurt is erased without you saying the right words. Apologize when need be. Learn to be accountable and responsible for mistakes, and do not give half-hearted “worries.”

    Understand That You Two Have Become One

    You should see yourself as two peas in a pod. Happy couples understand that their significant other is from a different background. So, even though some of their values align, there will always be significant differences. Goodmenproject suggests that sticking together when there is a challenge cements the bond in any romantic relationship. Also, be open to the changes life can throw at you or your partner. This will mean your ability to be there for them.

  • The Power of Healthy Relationships: Discover the Benefits and How to Navigate Them Successfully

    The Power of Healthy Relationships: Discover the Benefits and How to Navigate Them Successfully

    Do relationships have benefits? This is a million-dollar question asked by people in a relationship and those in a single boat. We cannot deny that healthy relationships have great benefits. This includes having comfort in companionship and feeling loved, attracted and wanted.

    The part of companionship includes having someone in your corner to celebrate your wins with, mark special dates, and navigate life’s struggles. So, the conclusion is being in a relationship keeps you engaged and fulfilled.

    The Overall Benefits Of Being In A Healthy Relationship

    The list includes:

    • Longevity in purpose
    • Influences your physical health
    • A healthier sleep pattern
    • Decreases your stress level
    • Improves your state of fulfilment

    Why Should You Be in A Healthy Relationship?

    The answer is simple because there are quantifiable benefits.

    You can rest assured that you have your favourite cheerleader in your corner. One to call your own in times of trouble and happiness.

    Your other half is always your best gossip partner. In healthy relationships, partners are objective, and even while gossiping about a situation, they know the right advice to give.

    Going out and experiencing life with that special someone gives you confidence. It adds sparks to your life.

    How To Navigate A Healthy Relationship

    You only get to enjoy the benefits of a relationship when it is set in the right way. To build a healthy romance, you need to be intentional. Your to-do list must have respect, communication, willingness to let go, apologizing genuinely while taking accountability, reaching compromises, and having trust.
    According to Relationrise, the top three on the list are:

    • Communication
    • Mutual Respect
    • Trust

    Communication doesn’t always mean you are the one doing the talking. Let there be open communication through talking and listening. It will help you understand the principles your partner has and wants to bring to the relationship. Through effective communication, you can also identify the problems peculiar to your romance.

    Mutual respect cannot be bargained. Once respect is present, you will think carefully before acting out. At the same time, you will ask your partner for their opinions on matters before proceeding.

    Trust in every relationship is important. To fully enjoy relationship benefits, show trust so that your partner will feel safe and secure. If you have done anything to break the trust, try to regain it. It might not be easy, but for a healthy romance, it must be done.