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Category: Relationships & Advice

  • Spotting and Solving Relationship Addiction

    Spotting and Solving Relationship Addiction

    Before you can solve a problem such as relationship addiction, you must first be aware that it exists in different forms. So the big question is, what does it mean?

    According to RelationRise, relationship addiction is when your brain is wired to depend on your romantic partner. This could include seeking emotional needs, happiness, or being unable to function without them being in the picture.

    Spotting Relationship Addiction

    People who are suffering from relationship addiction may not even know it. But the general characteristic is feeling awkwardly scared of being alone. It almost equates to being ashamed of your single nature, which would lead you to latch on to another for self-worth easily.

    The moment you find it difficult to draw the line when being gaslighted, easily give in to control, and tie your self-worth to another, then you may be exhibiting relationship addiction.

    This would mean you can easily use relationships as an escape route from personal struggles. You would likely become antisocial and relate solely to your romantic partner, and lie to yourself that you can come up with a long list of red flags.

    Solving Relationship Addiction

    This problem can be a consequence of childhood trauma or neglect and emotional instability. If you want to combat it, first be self-aware that you have a problem.

    The methods of fighting this form of addiction are derived from problems. Put a stop to whatever you are doing. Create healthy boundaries and have deal-breakers in your relationships. Have a community you can fall back on, meaning you can discuss your problems with friends or family. If all these do not work, be sure to visit a therapist who will offer professional advice.

    Breaking free from relationship addiction will help your mental well-being, plus you will experience a natural glow and growth in your lifestyle.

  • There’s No Shame In Being Single

    There’s No Shame In Being Single

    Being Single does not equate to loneliness. Instead, it presents a time to build yourself and fly free without boundaries or inhibitions. Bear in mind that as a responsible human, you must not act to hurt yourself. Having said that, being single is not the same thing as recklessness.

    Nevertheless, some people have been wired to believe that not being married means misery. Somehow, they see single-hood as a time to entertain depression and feel total shame. But is that what being single is about?

    Is Being Single a Disease People Should Avoid?

    The answer is no. As stated earlier, being without a partner offers you the chance to do some soul-searching. At this point, you are not connected to anyone and cannot be pressured to succumb to their will.

    As a single person, you can also make choices based on what is important to you. Finding yourself makes it easier to accept a more worthy love. So, honestly speaking, if you are single, use it well before your time runs out.

    Are Married Folks More Fulfilled?

    Don’t take things the wrong way; there is no Armageddon battle between the single and the married. However, it is imperative you know that life can be good for a single person.

    PsychCentral agrees that research involving who is happier between married and single people can be challenging, but it has been done.

    Dr Richard E. Lucas from Michigan State University opined that people’s fulfilment does not necessarily come from marriage. If they were miserable being single, marriage would not change a thing.

    Remember that marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and tension, so it becomes a lost battle if you cannot build confidence when you are single.

    However, we cannot disregard the fact that shame has been attached to being single. The cure is not as simple as you think, but you are in the right direction once you are self-aware. Strip yourself of feeling insecure and not good enough with daily words of affirmation and building genuine friendships.

    Also, learn to do things that give you joy while trying out options to meet new people. But make no mistake of losing yourself in the process. Meanwhile, if you are battling depression, seek a therapist, not a lover, as this can hurt your dating chart!

  • Who Should Take Charge of Paying the Bill on a First Date?

    Who Should Take Charge of Paying the Bill on a First Date?

    On the first date, when you’re still all lovey-dovey and trying to get to know each other while leaving a lasting impression, you also intend to learn about the person sitting across from you—their favorite things to do, their love language, and maybe even their life goals. But have you ever considered talking about money?

    It may sound cliché, but finance is critical to every romance. While the euphoria of a first date can numb you to this topic, if you want to further the relationship, it’s essential to have that uncomfortable conversation about money.

    So, when does finance come into play?

    Even if you intend to avoid the money talk, you must consider it on the first date. This is because you and your partner will likely visit a place together, and whatever plan you make will likely involve parting with some money. But the question is, whose purse should it come from?

    Who does the paying on the first date?

    After understanding how imperative the money talk can be, the next step is communicating about it. Before diving into debates, be sure to share your payment plan with your date.

    The article from Harvard Business Review does not deny that traditionally, the man is seen as the provider and is expected to settle the first date bill. However, times have changed, and most believe both genders can handle finances, especially on the first date.

    But before assuming that your date is ready to foot the bill, speak up. Before stepping out on the first date, have this conversation so it doesn’t feel awkward.

    Once you move past the assumption phase, try to understand the other person’s perspective. For instance, if you intend to pay and quickly grab the check, how will it make your partner feel? Be empathetic and avoid coming across as proud.

    In conclusion, you don’t have to break a sweat if you believe in going Dutch on a date. If you don’t have enough money to cover the entire bill, discuss it with your potential partner and offer to pay for what you ordered.

  • Finding a Resolution for Conflict in Your Relationship

    Finding a Resolution for Conflict in Your Relationship

    Conflict in your marriage or relationship is nothing new, but seeking a resolution should not be thrown out the window. In matters of the heart, we may express our preferences but ultimately accept what comes. When you choose to stay committed to your partner, be prepared to experience a range of events, from managing their flaws to understanding their background.

    Relationship conflicts indicate that you are doing things the right way. However, it’s important to never go to bed angry and try to resolve issues as quickly as possible. Not many people know how to solve the conflicts they face. But did you know there are steps to try before seeking a therapist or ending the relationship?

    Never Cross a Line During Conflict Resolution

    At the beginning of your relationship, establish boundaries that neither of you crosses when angry. It doesn’t matter what or where the conflict occurs; resolving it becomes easier when there is mutual respect in the relationship. Randy Brazzel, a certified family therapist based in Houston, says:

    “If you want honest dialogue, you have to treat each other with respect and kindness. Everyone benefits when there is an atmosphere of mutual respect.”

    Indeed, eliminating violence, shouting, tantrums and abusive language can help cool down relationship conflicts.

    Identify Protective Behaviors

    Nobody wants to feel violated or vulnerable. During conflicts, many individuals instinctively protect themselves through different learned strategies. Your ability to recognize these behaviors will determine how you handle your partner. Instead of feeling attacked, you can learn to show empathy. These behaviors may include defensiveness or leaving before issues are resolved.

    In the words of Michele Pavia, a practitioner of Zen Buddhism, “Conflict is expected and does not imply that your partner doesn’t love you. In fact, all relationships filled with love experience some form of conflict.”

    Consider Delving Deep to Identify the Root of the Conflict

    Before aiming for conflict resolution, consider returning to when the situation began. Ask yourself if you or your loved ones feel suffocated and how they contribute to your happiness. Also, try to determine if you are part of the problem.

    Therapist’s Help Should Not be Underestimated in Conflict Resolution

    The assistance provided by someone who has studied marriages and relationships should not be underestimated. When it comes to conflict resolution, seeking the help of a therapist can help you uncover problems you never thought existed. It can also facilitate quicker resolution, especially if you are honest.

    Know When to Pause

    Either of you can become overwhelmed with emotions. Resist the urge to keep explaining your side. Conflict resolution can only occur if both parties do not allow their emotions to take over. Taking a pause can also help you avoid saying hurtful things.

    Before involving a third party, try to resolve your relationship conflicts together. After all, you fell in love with each other. Additionally, be open-minded and receptive to corrections or observations from your partner when necessary.

  • Is Age Just A Number: Celebrity Power Couples Who Overcame Age Differences and Found Success

    Is Age Just A Number: Celebrity Power Couples Who Overcame Age Differences and Found Success

    For some couples, age difference means nothing. As they say, it is just a number; the heart is all that matters. Some couples, even celebrities, with age gaps have found common ground to make their relationship work. But for others, they seem to have yet to get past that biological clock. According to a report by Dr. Loren Olsen, an Iowa psychiatrist, couples who do not consider age a barrier because they feel forever young are more likely to succeed in their relationships.

    Olsen explains that we have different ages in various aspects of our lives – chronological age, psychological age, physical age, and sexual age. Age gap couples frequently find compatibility in the last three areas.

    Despite the positive outlook, there are still factors that determine ultimate happiness. It is important to understand that your romance can be subject to judgment if the gap is too significant. Even when you allow love to lead, it can sometimes interfere with your moments of happiness.

    Famous Couples That Made It Work Despite Their Age Difference

    Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds

    They have a ten-year gap, yet they have been together for years and share a beautiful family.

    Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas

    This couple also has a ten-year gap, and things are working fine for them after welcoming their daughter last year.

    Jay Z and Beyoncé

    Jay Z and Beyonce are twelve years apart in age. They share one of the most successful celebrity love stories. Despite the gap, these couples have had to work to keep their marriage strong. They faced challenges but decided that love and each other were all they needed.

    Is Age Gap a Dangerous Thing in a Relationship?

    There is no doubt that this difference plays a role in a relationship. This is because the couple may think and feel differently at times. Psych Central highlights some factors that are peculiar to couples with an age gap:

    Peculiar life challenges and priorities: When there is a significant age gap, the older partner may begin to worry about health and life challenges. For example, a woman who is about to hit menopause and intends to have a child naturally may face difficulties if her partner is still in his early 20s.

    Emotional stability: Since one partner may have experienced more in life than the other, they may be more mature emotionally.

    Above all, adequate communication, enlightenment of both partners, support from loved ones, and financial independence are crucial for a thriving romance. This is evident even among popular celebrity couples.

  • Knowing Your Partner’s Body Count: Why and How To Go About It

    Knowing Your Partner’s Body Count: Why and How To Go About It

    Your partner’s body count is private data; it is up to them to share it with you. Body count refers to the number of people they have been with since they became sexually active. While some people may not mind disclosing it, others are thoroughly secretive. Find out why your partner’s sexual history should remain in the past and why they may not decide to share. There is also a bonus tip on asking if and when necessary.

    Why Your Partner May Not Share Their Body Count

    First, let’s analyze why you are asking. After discovering that you are entirely compatible with a person, you may want to commit to the cultures or religions that hold women who have zero body count in high esteem. Unfortunately, if you are from this region, sharing your sexual history may scare you. This is because it is likely to limit the number of suitors or partners you have.

    Why care about their past?

    Please do not rule out that some people hate being asked about their body count. They prefer to know about the present and the future awaiting them. For these groups of people, the past should be left in the past if it is not worthy of mention.

    Verywell Mind believes that your partner would remain tight-lipped due to the fear of being judged. Even though we may want to believe that the world is now advanced and has given women some privileges, some things have not changed. A person withholding details of their sexual history may feel assumptions like “you have STIs or how many have you treated?” would come up.

    On the flip side, the other person inquiring may begin to have self-doubt if their partner’s body count is more than they can handle. They may start to think that they are incapable of satisfying their better half sexually.

    If, for any reason, you need to table the question to your lover, try these methods:

    • Be empathetic.
    • Let them know that you deeply care for them.
    • Your partner must trust that you will not judge or end the romance.
  • How To Be The Best Critique You Know

    How To Be The Best Critique You Know

    No one truly wants negative feedback, not the A-list celebrities or restaurateurs, not even you as an employer, and certainly not your staff. But remember that for growth to happen, the truth must be shared — no matter how bitter.

    Whatever lackadaisical attitude a member of your staff displays should not be tolerated. You must learn to exert authority and call them to order. This is not just to show that you are the boss but to keep every other employee in line.

    Though some bosses prefer to let things slide, according to clinical professor Brooke Vuckovic from Kellog Insight, what you tolerate determines the template of your firm or organization.

    Easy Ways to Be Good At Negative Feedback

    Delivering negative feedback is not as easy as it sounds. However, you can make headway when you understand it is to solve a problem and improve the employee.

    Spell Out the Reason For The Negative Feedback

    Before rushing to have a conversation with that clumsy staff, be sure that it is the right thing. As a boss, do not try to pick on your intern if they give their 100%. But once you can see that your employee is slacking and can jeopardize clients’ integrity, there is no better time than to begin.

    Once you have your employee sitting across the table, be sure to hit the nail on the head. If you have facts, share them with them. At the same time, do not hope for an instant turnaround. If you intend to keep them around a little longer, know that the change may be gradual.

    Get Ready For Roadblocks When Delivering Negative Feedback

    Delivering negative feedback may be challenging as your staff may want to be defensive. This will mean they will relay conflicting data or identify issues you are not conversant with. When this happens, calmly assess the situation before proceeding. Make sure that you did not contribute to their inefficiency. Anything can be handled once you can get that out of the road.

    Talk And Listen

    Your negative feedback is to effect a change else you would have sacked them right away. Even after laying bare your point, understand why it happened from their standpoint. This is when the real learning begins — meeting each other halfway by being heard.

  • How Divorce Affects Relationships and Society

    How Divorce Affects Relationships and Society

    Nobody in their right mind goes into a marriage with the intention of divorce. Truly, there are some exceptions, but it does not make the rule. Divorce mainly occurs when one or both parties decide they can not continue the union. Unfortunately, it gets more complicated when there are kids involved. To examine how divorce affects society is the same as how it affects children and their future relationships. After all, society comprises humans who exist by sharing relationships.

    Does Divorce Affect Relationships?

    The answer is yes, divorce makes it:

    Difficult For People To Develop Trust In Relationships

    This goes for children and divorced partners. Sadly, while an adult can work up their trust level, it is almost impossible for a child who feels abandoned to have trust in any relationship, be it romantic or friendship. This feeling will affect how they deal with people as they find it hard to believe that anybody has their interest at heart.

    They Strike A Deal With Divorce

    For kids who have had to watch one parent leave, or both parents embroiled in a messy custody battle, you may never convince them that divorce is not normal. Even when they enter a committed relationship, they accept being let down or let go. It is usually not a conscious decision, but the only way to tackle it is by making intentional decisions.

    Divorce Leaves People Feeling Like Marriage Isn’t Sacred

    Kids from broken homes may not see anything sacred about marriage because of what their parents went through. Their backgrounds have baked them; even when they enter, staying in the marriage and fixing it is never an option. Some just never believe in marriage, so there is no real desire to be in one.

    According to statistics provided by General Social Surveys per Marripedia, In the US, the divorce spectrum is made up of 18% of kids who never witnessed broken homes and 28% of those who saw their parents divorce.

  • How To Keep The Sparks Burning In Your Romance

    How To Keep The Sparks Burning In Your Romance

    Blushing, feeling butterflies in your tummy, and completing each other’s sentences are the pointers of relationship sparks. At this point, you must have gone on different baecations, celebrated countless anniversaries, enjoyed fine dining, and made love in all manner of places.

    These days are filled with kiddies’ birthdays, attending their soccer matches, and working late-night and early-morning shifts. But you still feel connected by virtue of the years spent together. Nonetheless, that doesn’t make you NOT hope for the exciting days. So, how do you go back to the days when you were both younger and the love was more intense?

    Relationship Sparks Can Be Ignited, Don’t Fret!

    The reality of every romantic relationship is that there comes a time when you drift apart due to long distances, careers, or other factors. But being aware of this makes it easier to fix. How? The Everygirl website says:

    Stay Out of Technology

    You can plan a nice weekend without the kids in a nature-encaved environment. For instance, consider taking a trip to a tree house resort. Then, you can spend quality time actually communicating. Being apart from the world can make you conscious of why you found each other.

    Reminisce on your young days and discuss things that have kept you distant. Avoid complicated topics, the goal is to tap back into the relationship gently sparks.

    Consider A New Adventure

    It should be an adventure because you hope to have an adrenaline pump during the entire episode. It could be a new experience for the two of you. But ensure to spend time together and away from family or friends. You can go hiking, kayaking, or play games that make you and your partner work as a team.

    Try to be Absent

    You heard right! Absence makes the hearts grow fonder. With your partner away, whether on a weekend getaway with friends, you will miss their laugh, stare, or quietness when they are in a room with you. Time apart may just be how to show appreciation to your better half again!

    Talk

    It never gets old. To begin a new relationship, you must learn to communicate. Staying in a loving relationship also needs some talking. So continuing that romance and igniting relationship sparks will definitely need some word exchange. Pry into their intimate affairs, especially if you have been too busy.

    Prioritize Intimacy

    Don’t just lie around like an old sack or log of wood. Reinvent ways to get intimate. Visit the beach shores at night to share a long, deep kiss. Or you can make it a habit. Instead of limiting your kisses to bedtime or get out of home time, be more regular.

    Never leave the burden of influencing your relationship spark in the hands of your partner. Jointly work towards achieving similar goals and see the magic happen!

  • People Leave When You Fall In Love? Here’s How You Apply Emotional Intelligence

    People Leave When You Fall In Love? Here’s How You Apply Emotional Intelligence

    Falling in love with the wrong person and for the wrong reasons can have you blaming love or the person. But what if I told you that you may be responsible? Don’t blame it on how man’s civilization has left many heartless and less empathetic. You must show emotional intelligence when dealing with humans to have you at the top of your game.

    What Is Emotional Intelligence And How To Apply?

    Emotional intelligence is the ability to contain your emotions while you study others and dictate how they see you. This will free you from the shackles of constant breakups and being entangled in a loveless romance.

    First, you must be self-aware to break your way out of freedom. Self-awareness speaks of your readiness to change your situation and search for the errors you are making.

    Inner Strength

    A lack of confidence can cause you to latch onto a person who is not sincerely into you. You may be blinded by little gestures and take it for love. Also, you may feel you deserve less, but low self-esteem can cause havoc to you and those you love.

    At this point, you must recognize the strength in your independence before attaching yourself to another. This way, you gain emotional intelligence and will not be bossed around by someone who only wants to play!

    Overcome Abandonment Issues

    Having a good grasp of love is also an eye-opener for you. Due to past trauma, you may see abandonment as love when, in fact, showing care and giving time is the way. So even when your partner shows such tendencies, you believe it is the right way to love. Unfortunately, some people have ventured into their happily-ever-after with users, people who care less about their happiness. But their concept of love fails them.

    You may be attracted to the wrong type by way of attachment. Either you cling to them too much to feel worthy, or you become emotionally unavailable by running away. This way, you might have lost a good one — so it’s not them, you.

    The focus is always on you because only you dictate your life. Funnily enough, your background or environment might play a significant factor in your emotional intelligence, but self-awareness and your yearning to change will determine the outcome.