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  • David Banner Shifts Focus: Ready To Find A Wife After Years of Career Success

    David Banner Shifts Focus: Ready To Find A Wife After Years of Career Success

    David Banner gets refreshingly honest about his personal goals and aspirations moving forward. While on the red carpet, the multifaceted entertainer resounded what is on his to-do list and this includes having a family! DB seems to believe that family life should begin at 50— at least that’s what his actions suggest. At 50, the “Marry Me” singer is content with his achievements. However, he is tired of being single and is ready to mingle!

    David Banner Ready To Tie The Knot

    Wedding bells could be chiming soon for David Banner who is intentional about finding his Mrs.Right. This came to light during his red carpet moments of the “Flight Night: The Million Dollar Heist” premiere. The actor who appears in the film disclosed:

    “I’m tired. I want to find my wife, have some kids.”

    According to the producer, people spend time chasing esoteric things thereby forgetting about what truly matters. Using himself as an example, Banner confessed that he was neck deep in amassing great feats. Of course, the hard work and effort paid off. The entertainer has his awards and catalog to show for it. But now in his achievement prime, it is glaring to see that some important things were left behind.

    Without mincing words, the 50-year-old emphasized that his celebrity status didn’t make him immune to hurt. To prove active emotions, Banner pressed on with what he said, adding that celebs are also humans and should be cut some slack.

    What Marriage Could Mean To Banner

    Apart from having kids like he mentioned, the singer surely hopes to be his best version in marriage. Back in 2016, upon his “Marry Me” debut, the singer voiced out his desire to be desired. The “Marry Me” single was to serve as an inspiration to black women. According to the singer, the women with darker melanin do not get enough attention.

    Having stated his number one reason for the song, David Banner quickly hinted that he wanted to be who these women would marry. The singer hoped to be the best dad any kid would want. But ultimately the best black man who appreciates his African descent.

    David Banner Undergoing Physical Changes

    While the actor has configured his mind to think highly of his roots and future needs, these days, he has also chosen physical strength. At 50, he recently lost 35 lbs. Unlike most celebrities his age who would do it based on a health scare, it wasn’t a forced action.

    However, the aim of losing weight was to improve mental health, and in preparation for his daddy role. The “Get Like Me” crooner echoed his sentiments for family life. In his defense, being fit to play superhero for his future kids was a top priority. On top of that, the actor considers his body a spiritual temple that must be without blemish.

    Final Note

    These days, the onscreen star concerns himself with becoming a better version of himself. David Banner has chosen to live more intentionally— clearing his mind, soul, and body. Hopefully, he jumps the broom with the right partner.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts on finding love at 50?

  • Recognizing Emotional Distance: 3 Signs of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner

    Recognizing Emotional Distance: 3 Signs of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner

    Being emotionally unavailable makes it a torment for the partner on the receiving end. Romantic relationships are best enjoyed when two partners are commensurately emotionally invested. According to experts, an emotionally distant individual might have suffered childhood trauma. So while they may like the idea of commitment in a romance, they find it difficult to put in the effort. Still, this is no excuse. Everyone must desire to change, especially when the other party is hurting. Being emotionally absent leaves the other person in a state of dilemma.

    Understating Lack Of Emotions

    According to Brides, Dr. Charmain F. Jackman describes an emotionally unavailable partner as emotionally unresponsive. They often struggle to reciprocate love for an extended period. To them, love and emotions aren’t worth being a priority. While they fail to be there for their partner, they also struggle with processing emotions. Such a pattern makes the romance undesirable.

    This is because neither party is really able to share how they feel due to one person’s selfishness. However, most partners make excuses for their partners without understanding the root of the problem. All they deal with is the constant frustration from their end, and they sometimes feel they are the problem. But understanding the signs can be helpful as it shows glaringly what to expect.

    Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner

    These pointers are probably signs many people with emotionally unavailable partners have experienced. However, a lack of understanding of the subject at hand makes them overlook it. From the staples of experts including psychotherapists and life coaches, the signs include:

    Difficulty In Empathizing

    An emotionally unavailable partner tends to distance themselves from emotional moments. When they finally get webbed in, it is arduous for them to show feelings. Even when it comes to advising their partners, they may suck at it. People in this wing find it difficult to know where the shoe pinches as they never wear them. Sadly, no matter how hurt their partners feel, their emotions still seem rigid.

    An Emotionally Unavailable Partner Hardly Feels Vulnerable

    Even though such a person claims to be in love, they may not totally open up. Being confident in a partner’s ability to shield and protect makes people open up. The whole idea of love is trusting in each other to show up when need be. So if a person makes it difficult to show trust in their feelings and partner, it means they struggle with emotional availability.

    Such an individual would always limit the things they share with their other half. Consequently, this point relates to the fact that such individuals will never reveal their past lives. This is because they feel the need to guard against past hurts. For them, sharing isn’t entirely caring; it is being too vulnerable.

    Such Individuals Employ Sarcasm To Avoid Difficult Conversations

    It would not cost much to push a little joke over a serious situation —an emotionally unavailable partner would think. So rather than address their partner’s concerns, they go in with silly jokes. Very often, they fail to show fear, uncertainty and disappointment.

    Final Note

    Having a partner who is willing to make things right upon realizing their weak point is all that matters. However, once a person becomes aware of their emotional unavailability status and refuses to change, it’s time to end that romance.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts?

    https://twitter.com/buqaqawulii/status/1352688322859200513
  • Intentional Dating: How to Find Meaningful Connections in the Modern World

    Intentional Dating: How to Find Meaningful Connections in the Modern World

    Intentional dating isn’t much of a trend these days. The trend is now casual dating or friends with benefits, a unique romance that goes off and on like a switch. There is less thought put into starting such relationships. Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, there is intentional dating. This dating pattern isn’t concerned with showing happy dates online. Rather it spotlights on the quality of the romance when no one is watching. It is a type of dating that feels fulfilling — something lacking in the digital world.

    What’s The Catch In Intentional Dating?

    Since Intentional dating deals with the consciousness of connecting, it leads to true happiness. Not many are ready to play the commitment card these days. People dating intentionally seem like they have a sore thumb. But worry not, such a lifestyle has the overwhelming benefit of self-awareness.

    Intentional Dating Creates A Sense Of Consciousness

    A person’s dating life says something about them. The more they practice intentional dating the more they become confident. This ability to be aware leads to enjoying one’s partner to the fullest. It makes both parties aware of their limitations and how to work in sync. Thus promoting a healthier and balanced romance.

    The level of consciousness derived from intentional dating makes people harness their true potential. A proponent of intentional dating would often make purposeful decisions. As such it gives them a profound understanding of their value as a person. Where they are lacking, they try to make amends to lead a more inspiring reality.

    Finding Meaningful Connections in Today’s World

    Without a doubt, there are complexities of the digital age concerning dating. People always want a good feeling, camera-thon, and outdoor experiences. Sometimes they forget the real deal. To be part of the few ones on the intentional dating wave, observe the following factors.

    Be Intentional With Standards

    One must first be intentional about their wants and needs— it applies to their romantic life. To do this effectively, it is best to write the intentions in a book. Journaling is one of the best ways to get all the points out. Marriage therapist Gabriela Reyes advises making a list. It must include deal breakers, non-negotiable, rules up for bending, and petty needs.

    This step offers insights into one’s personality. In essence, it would help weed out those who do not belong. It is better than getting tangled up in a complicated romance with people who fail to tick the boxes.

    Be Outspoken About Personal Rules

    Apart from being honest inwardly, a person must declare their stance. When two individuals begin to connect, they must share their “dos and don’ts.” This tailors the longevity of the relationship. So as not to waste anyone’s time.

    Create Boundaries

    Once the other party passes the first two phases, Reyes advises creating boundaries. It entails confessing true desires and knowing when to object. This would limit the other person’s infiltration into your routine. Despite falling in love, or dating, remember to have me-time. It is critical to personal growth. A person who truly experiences such can put in the required effort to make it work.

    Be Futuristic

    Once a person figures out compatibility with another, it is time to look into future goals. Connections can be formed when two people have shared values and beliefs. However, speaking about future endeavors reaffirms such bonds.

    Start On A Truthful Note

    The word is intentional dating so there has to be truth and honesty. Relationships built on lies often erupt into a bubble of mess. To build a meaningful connection, confess true desires. It must not entirely tally with the other person’s standards. But be open about likes, dislikes, and other uncomfortable conversations.

    Remain Principled

    Changing standards to suit a particular partner would not make the romance meaningful. Taking pride and confidence in values is what does the trick. During the dating period, be sure to spell out and whoever cannot cope, allow them to go. This will prevent heartbreak and unhappiness in the future.

    Final Note

    Intentional dating is self-care. However, it might take some time to create a meaningful bond. Regardless of how long it takes to find that Mr/Mrs. Right, it is always worth the wait.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts?

  • Understanding Mirroring in Relationships: The Key To Deeper Communication

    Understanding Mirroring in Relationships: The Key To Deeper Communication

    Mirroring is what makes a romantic relationship wholesome. As much as two people must share similar values, they possess different personalities. Mirroring is a point where partner A is in sync with partner B thereby doing things similarly. At this stage, the love birds may find themselves completing each other’s statements. The duo’s eating patterns become similar. In rare cases, they may start looking alike. Mirroring validates the concept of behavior mimicry.

    Understanding The Basics Of Mirroring

    For easier comprehension, mirroring can be described as a person’s reflection. In relationships, it borders on what they do, and how they act. Usually mirroring happens when there is a deeper connection. A long-time couple may find themselves knowing each other’s needs. They sometimes think alike and would easily pass off as a unique representation of their partner. But these benefits don’t come cheap.

    At first, mirroring can happen when a person makes a conscious effort to know another. It could be a way to show that they are similar. But as time goes on, it becomes a subconscious act. Oftentimes having genuine feelings and being intentional, consolidates such bonds. If a couple finds it hard mirroring in their relationship, then there is a problem.

    Either they were not compatible from the start or things need to be fixed. Usually, lovers encounter such problems when there is a break in communication. Or when someone’s feelings have been hurt. One of the best ways to fix this is through communication, and validating each other’s concerns.

    How Mirroring Fosters Deeper Connection

    In romantic relationships, this concept suggests that the participants have bonded exceptionally. It leaves both parties feeling happy and positive. This is almost always the same thing from a broader perspective. Mirroring in a friendship helps to consolidate the connection. Likewise, mirroring in family and business life. Practicing mirroring means a person can almost think like the other.

    In a case of misunderstanding, a person would automatically de-escalate it. This is because that person has been able to view things from another’s point of view. As per business, having the same foresight as the owner of the business helps the employee to stay focused. When met with critical circumstances, an employee can confidently make certain decisions.

    Disadvantages Of Mirroring In Relationships

    Surprisingly, mirroring can be applied wrongly. Some people can be deceitful with their intentions. Rather than explicitly state their preferences, they try to manipulate others. When a person tries to be like another in the hope of getting something in return, that is tactical mirroring. It’s a no-no for friendships and romantic relationships.

    A person’s style of mirroring must indicate genuine care and concern. If it is misleading and aims for a no-comfort zone, then it’s best to dock out immediately. Mirroring must be comfortable for both parties. When one person isn’t on board, then it is being done wrongly. Either they iron things out or quit the relationship entirely.

    Final Note

    Mirroring should not be forced and rushed. It’s more intentional when it occurs naturally. After some time with the same person, it becomes clearer. Additionally, it improves a couple’s commitment and assurance in their romance.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts?

  • Transactional Love: What It Is, Signs To Spot, and How To Transform It

    Transactional Love: What It Is, Signs To Spot, and How To Transform It

    Love is transactional when something is expected in return. When in love, there is nothing wrong with demanding similar attention from the other person. But when attention is paid for through favors or kind acts, it has become transactional. Another way bargained love can take place is through gifting. Planning a special dinner or buying expensive gifts shouldn’t be how to win a heart. The true essence of love remains to show selfless acts that are not material-driven.

    Difference Between Transactional and Real Romance

    Transactional love is not only prevalent in romantic relationships. It can exist between siblings, parents, children, and friends. Any love that rests on the concept of give-and-take can termed transactional. Partners practicing such love tend to keep a scorecard. They remember every good deed and sometimes manipulate the relationship. This can cause an imbalance of power as one person would claim to be better in some areas.

    As stated earlier, transactional love can also occur between families. An arranged marriage offers the best example. In some arranged marriages, very little thought is given to the couples. In such situations, the parents of the couple are mostly in control. Both families may begin to exchange gifts while seeking to advance in status.

    On the other hand, real love or romance deals with concern, care, kindness, and commitment. While gestures aren’t lacking, those involved understand and know how to reciprocate. Such love is not attached to materialism. Neither party waits for the time to prove a point with a scorecard. There is open communication and honesty. Conflicts are easily resolved, causing real love to stand the test of time.

    Signs Of Transactional Love

    Transactional love in relationships breeds conflict, dishonesty, and selfishness. However, it has different depths as some people may be in a transactional love situation without knowing it. Here are signs to look out for:

    Transactional Affection Is Measured

    This is because their affections are based on what the other person does. It is never an unconditional feeling. Their partners must fulfill an obligation before they show concern or care.

    No Depth

    Since real love offers depth in romance, transactional love is the direct opposite. Nothing binds the relationship. There are no real feelings, except the ones bought.

    The Materialism Factor

    If love fails without all the fancy or luxury gestures, then it’s safe to assume it is transactional. A healthy relationship withstands difficult periods together. When a person chooses to attach a condition to their good deed, it is not selfless. Intentional love is selfless and humble and it never keeps a scorecard.

    Overcoming Transactional Love

    One must first understand their love mode—if it’s transactional or real. If it is the former, the only way to overcome it is to leave. But there are other ways to avoid encountering transitional love.

    Show genuine care and concern

    Try to practice the opposite of transactional love more often. Be selfless, love freely, and do not put a price tag on love or things you do for the people around you unless it’s your source of income.

    Practice Honest Communication

    Whenever in doubt, talk about your feelings to reveal what kind of love it is. If the other party fails to listen, it might just be a one-sided relationship.

    Place Value On Emotional Intimacy

    Apart from the feel-good moment on camera, prioritize building emotional intimacy. This is what defines the depth of true love. Avoid phubbing whenever you’re with your loved ones.

    Be Kind

    A kind partner is not boastful or proud of their contributions. They are also open to working things out in times of conflict. Listening to your partner is a sign of true love.

    Final Note

    There is no gain in transactional love. It only leaves the participants drained. Consequently, they also miss out on finding a true life partner. Nothing beats true love! Both parties only need to be sincere to each other at all times.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts?

  • Rebuilding Intimacy: A Somatic Approach To Healing Romantic Relationships

    Rebuilding Intimacy: A Somatic Approach To Healing Romantic Relationships

    For some time now, more couples have welcomed somatic healing. They focus on somatic therapy to help redeem their lost intimacy. This can only be achieved through a willingness to be open and share. Only then would somatic healing take place. Somatic therapy targets mental and emotional stress on the mind. So how exactly does it rebuild romance in relationships?

    Understanding Romantic Intimacy

    Intimacy is only practiced in a romantic relationship when a person feels safe. The process often involves trusting and sharing. So it is not just done with anybody. When intimacy wears off in any romance, it breeds grounds for tension. This is where somatic healing comes in. The process targets distant emotions, physical tensions, and body sensations.

    Ultimately, there are a series of reasons why a person needs somatic healing in intimacy. Usually redrawn intimacy is linked to a trauma formed early in life. Such experiences cause people to become invulnerable. They block out certain emotions as a safety measure. But this is just untapped trauma at work.
    Trauma not only focuses on intimacy. It can affect the regulation of the body. Thus leading to reduced heart rate, anxiety, PTSD and depression.

    What Is Somatic Healing For Intimacy?

    Somatic healing in intimacy is experiencing the release of trapped energy. This always helps couples to feel better about each other. At the same time, it enriches their intimacy routine. Couples trying to approach somatic healing must not burden themselves with bottling their inner feelings. This can only cause further torment and block their ability to heal.

    Key Somatic Approach That Heals Intimacy

    According to Dr. Scott Lynn founder of Embody Lab, Somatic healing aims for the mind. It is important to go through such a process to attack memories. That will be childhood trauma. A child responds to their environment. So if all they hear are bad words it will affect their outlook on life. This invariably affects their intimacy in relationships. The best ways to reclaim intimacy by addressing past emotional issues are:

    Somatic Vocabulary Is Essential For Healing

    This could be in the form of documentation or self awareness. Dr. Lynn explained that recognising internal emotions is a first step to experiencing change. A person could begin with spotting basic changes in the body. Then graduate to understanding body sensations and its needs.

    Practice Self Healing

    Somatic healing happens when a person knows that there is a problem to fix. However, to confidently approach the healing in intimacy, one must be up and doing. Practice exercises that keep the heart pumping and body fresh. It could be a deep exhalation. Such action helps to shut down tensed emotions. It also puts the body in a hibernation mood.

    One Step At a Time

    In a haste to experience somatic healing, some people end up stressing the body out. Peter Levine, a developer of somatic experiencing advice titration, asserts. This means addressing the emotional imbalance in bits.

    Be Free And Take Breaks

    Let the body and mind experience freedom. Allow it to wander and dream of endless possibilities. Train the mind to let go of hurtful emotions. This doesn’t mean logging off completely. It entails walking away from the situation only to come back when emotionally stable.

    Ask For Help

    Seek guidance from a somatic healing expert. They will provide answers and routines to aid the required healing.

    Final Note

    The first key to becoming free and repairing intimacy healing is awareness. The process eases when a person identifies their problems as a residual of past trauma.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts?

  • The Fine Line Between Healthy And Toxic Emotional Detachment

    The Fine Line Between Healthy And Toxic Emotional Detachment

    Emotional detachment is a conscious act, and it is not as easy as it sounds. Every human deals with emotions. Research posits that men are not better than women in this regard. Rather, people’s emotions are influenced by their backgrounds, environment, and values. There are general rules that apply to emotional detachment. It categorizes them into toxic and healthy emotional detachment.

    Toxic Emotional Detachment

    Toxic emotional detachment is when a person fails to be empathetic. It can cause isolation as their relationships are mostly affected. They find it impossible to see things from another’s standpoint. Their self-absorbed attitude causes social isolation. A person who emotional detachment would:

    Show Disinterest In Intimacy

    While in a seemingly healthy relationship, they avoid being intimate. This happens because they feel disconnected and lack attraction for the person.

    Never Understanding Another

    Such individuals believe that point of view is always the best; there is no middle ground. People under this umbrella also fail to show empathy.

    Lack of Emotions

    Nothing bothers them. It doesn’t matter how they made someone else feel. There is always a disconnect and they fail to understand people’s grouses.

    Ignoring Emotions

    Instead of referring to the emotional implications of a situation they bring up intelligent discourses. This amplifies their lack of genuine intelligence in handling the social environment.

    Toxic Emotional Detachment Makes One Feel Isolated

    Since the beginning of time, humans have interacted. When one displays toxic emotional detachment, they fail to connect. This leaves them feeling alone.

    Feeling Worked Out

    Not letting out emotions leaves the mind burdened. Rather than share a problem, some people would bottle it up. Not asking for help also falls under this symptom. It stems from being afraid to share. Sometimes, it could be that they feel overconfident in their problem-solving ability. This isn’t the case with healthy emotional detachment. People on that spectrum are more open to sharing and they never feel alone.

    Healthy Emotional Detachment

    It is the opposite of emotional detachment. People who practice this can manage their emotions. They often see the need to de-escalate tension during heated arguments. Sometimes when they end relationships, they never burn bridges. Their excuses for being detached are usually valid and they are honest about it. Also, they can maintain healthy relationships. A healthy emotional detachment would only lead to a healthier and happier life. This can be seen in the way people:

    Set boundaries

    To avoid stress in a relationship, people can detach emotionally, but still set boundaries.

    Practice Self Care

    A healthy emotional detachment calls for change in a person’s lifestyle. Looking out for what’s best for one’s self helps to know when to detach emotionally. At such a time being with a support group can also help. This is because being around people helps cushion the effect of the disconnection.

    Healthy Emotional Detachment Does Not Affect Communication

    There is never a problem with stating their feelings. This also clarifies their stance on an issue. At the same time, the other person is fully aware of the disconnection.

    Final Note

    Detaching emotionally comes with problems that could arise due to childhood trauma, rejection, and loss. But learning how to share these problems can help a person. Accepting that there’s a problem makes it easier to attack it. However, it is important to know the right time to detach emotionally.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts?

  • Phubbing: What Is It and How It Could Be Hurting Your Relationship

    Phubbing: What Is It and How It Could Be Hurting Your Relationship

    Phubbing is a habit associated with the excessive use of mobile phones. With the advancement of technology, smartphones have become more essential than ever, used for almost everything—jobs, ordering food, following trends, and more. However, many people struggle to know when to put their phones down. While the importance of smartphones cannot be overstated, physical interactions are equally vital.

    Is the Term ‘Phubbing’ New to You?

    According to Racheal Goldberg, a qualified therapist, phubbing is a blend of two words: ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing.’ In other words, the term refers to ignoring someone in a social setting by being preoccupied with your phone.

    Physical interactions create long-lasting memories and are a great way to meet new people and network. However, since the widespread adoption of smartphones—especially in the U.S.—people often find it harder to engage in meaningful conversations. This trend has adversely affected romantic relationships as well.

    The Impact of Phubbing on Relationships

    Phubbing can be particularly frustrating, especially when one party is simply trying to communicate. This behavior doesn’t only affect romantic relationships. Research shows that more than half of the U.S. population has experienced phubbing. The inattentiveness often leaves the other person feeling upset. Here are some of the key ways phubbing negatively impacts relationships:

    Phubbing Leads to a Lack of Attention

    Constantly being on your phone in the presence of your partner can lead to relationship dissatisfaction. It can make your partner feel excluded and undervalued. One way to show your partner they are important to you is by putting your phone down whenever they are trying to communicate. If you fail to show your partner that they matter, they may begin to feel disconnected from you.

    Erosion of Trust

    Phubbing can also erode trust between partners. If you’re constantly glued to your phone, your partner may start to question some things. For instance, they may think about what you’re doing or if your phone is more important than them. This can lead to suspicion and distrust. An emotionally sensitive partner might even worry that you are texting someone else, which might not be the case. This is why it’s crucial to curb phubbing before it escalates.

    Phubbing Impacts Mental Health

    Both the person who phubs and the one being phubbed can experience negative mental health effects. Studies have shown that both partners may suffer from feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety. Phubbing can also lead to guilt and a growing sense of disconnection from others. It makes social interactions difficult, further intensifying feelings of isolation.

    Even though the person who phubs may view online friendships as genuine, there’s often a missing element: intimacy. Constant phone use can reduce opportunities for vulnerable moments with your partner, which may contribute to feelings of depression, heightened anxiety, and social awkwardness.

    Final Thoughts

    Smartphones are an integral part of our daily lives, but they should never replace the value of face-to-face interactions. Physical connections are crucial in relationships and friendships. Phubbing is making it harder for people to connect meaningfully with each other.

    To avoid this problem, try moderating and adjusting your phone usage. If the issue persists, seeking professional help could be beneficial. Most importantly, consider how phubbing is affecting your relationships with loved ones. You don’t want to lose the few good people in your life.

    Clique, what are your thoughts? Are you guilty of phubbing?

  • How Your Attachment Style Can Evolve: Understanding the Signs and Solutions

    How Your Attachment Style Can Evolve: Understanding the Signs and Solutions

    Research shows that the attachment style adopted during childhood influences attachment patterns in romantic relationships. Attachment styles are categorized into four. They include secure, ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized styles. This means that a child’s relationship with the parent or caregiver is significant. For instance, a securely attached child grows up to believe in endurance for the sake of love. An avoidantly attached child may view love as distant and temporal as an adult. Also, an ambivalently attached child will likely grow up to fall in love frequently. This shows how early attachment styles impact adulthood behavior patterns.

    Exploring The Concept Of Attachment

    Attachment can be defined as affection, fondness, or sympathy for someone or something. At early stages, children form a bond with their parents or caregivers. This bond goes on to formulate that child’s view of relationships and life in general.

    Sigmund Freud’s theory on love spurred the research on attachment. However, John Bowlby is known as the father of attachment theory today. Bowlby described attachment as a lasting psychological connectedness between human beings. JB further revealed childhood experiences contribute largely to development and future behavior.

    Attachment Styles And Their Characteristics

    Verywell Mind highlights the four attachment styles and how they affect connecting with people in adulthood. It is noteworthy that childhood attachment may mirror adult romantic attachment. However, research has only proven that early attachment style can help formulate adulthood behavioral patterns. See below for attachment styles and their characteristics.

    Ambivalent Attachment

    This type of early attachment involves a child having conflicting feelings towards the caregiver. Such kids show discomfort when separated from their parents. However, when the parent or caregiver returns, the child may not be comforted still. The child may go on to antagonize the parent.

    Research shows that this attachment style is uncommon in the U.S. Children with an ambivalent attachment style may grow up to be distant from others. They also doubt their partner’s love for them but become devastated when the relationship ends.

    Avoidant Attachment Style

    This style stems from a period of absence by the parents. Such children tend to avoid parents or caregivers. When the absent parent is back, the child may not reject the attention from the parent like the ambivalent one. However, the child is not looking out for that comfort or attention.

    Such children grow up to have intimacy issues and almost zero emotions in relationships. Also, such individuals find it hard to communicate or share thoughts with others. These are the ones that grow up to be okay with one-night stands or casual sex as adults.

    Disorganized Attachment Style

    Children in this category display ambiguous attachment behavior. Their response to most situations is mixed, including avoidance or resistance. This behavior is a result of parents’ inconsistency. Adults with a disorganized attachment style may pursue a loving relationship, but then abruptly distance themselves. They often undermine their relationships as adults and struggle to trust their partners.

    Secure Attachment Style

    This is the best type of attachment. Studies show that children with secure attachment tend to be more compassionate with time. They are also characterized as being less disruptive, less aggressive, and more emotionally mature compared to those with ambivalent or avoidant attachment styles. Adults in this category have good self-esteem, seek social support, and share feelings with partners and friends. They also have good and lasting relationships.

    Is It Possible To Change Your Attachment Style?

    Attachment patterns may seem fixed, but they can be changed. Rachel Goldberg, a marriage and family Therapist, revealed that attachment styles can happen at any stage of life. To buttress her point, she gave an example. According to her, a child with secure attachment can change if the caregiver suddenly dies, or a special needs kid enters the picture.

    In other words, it is possible to change attachment styles due to unique life events/ experiences. The attachment change can be from secure to insecure and vice versa. Some factors also influence the change of these styles. They include relationships, self-awareness, trauma, and learning skills.

    Final Thoughts

    Attachment styles are not fixed and as such, can evolve. We may even experience different styles with various people. This is influenced by how they treat us and our interactions with them. Transitioning from an insecure individual to a secure one is possible when we practice self-compassion and connect with positive-minded individuals.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts?

  • How to Tell If He’s the One: 5 Key Signs You’ve Found Mr. Right

    How to Tell If He’s the One: 5 Key Signs You’ve Found Mr. Right

    There’s always a Mr. Right for every lady out there. It probably isn’t Mr. Perfect, but when they come, it just feels right. Though nobody is perfect, two people can always fit perfectly. So how can an ideal man be spotted? Firstly, know that there is a Mr. Right Now. It’s a no-brainer that Mr. Right will create butterflies in the tummy kind of feeling. But there’s also a Mr. Right Now who closely matches the real deal.

    What Is The Difference Between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now?

    Have you ever wondered why people stick to partners that don’t complement them? That’s because they are with their Mr. Right Now. It feels right but it is often a one-sided romance. It’s a type of relationship that defies the true essence of love. Surprisingly, when two people don’t fit, they still have a chance of finding true love. They may not be right for each other but could be for someone else. Mr. Right as a term is already self-explanatory.

    As a lady, when you meet the perfect person, it may not feel that way from the onset. Most Mr. Rights don’t come in the expected package. It’s natural for ladies to look out for 6 ft height, broad shoulders, preferred complexion, God-fearing, etc. However, the perfect man may not possess all these qualities. He may come with some of them. What’s more important to most women is how he thinks, treats them, and provides. This is why it’s important to give people chances. You may just be wowed.

    Major Pointers Of An Ideal Man

    Although the dynamics of every relationship differ, Collage Center points out the ground rules below.

    Mr. Right Is Truthful

    Truthfulness is a virtue that cannot be bought. It is either present or not, no in-betweens. Mr. Right would not feel the urge to lie to a lover. Nor would the truth be sugar-coated. As for secrets, there is usually none in such romances. To a Mr. Right, honesty is important and usually expected in return.

    Mr Right Is Great With Family And Friends

    Mr. Right is usually a Mr. Perfect. This guy is almost blameless. It is never truly difficult to begin conversations around friends and family. Another added advantage is that respect is earned. Having a flawless romance is everyone’s dream. So when people spot it, they admire it. Additionally family and friends often have a gift of identifying a Mr. Right. They ask about that one partner always.

    Respect Is Never Compromised

    The right man knows that the respect cards must be on the table at all times. Such value influences conversations, emotions, and even reactions. There are certain things an ideal man would never say even when angry. Some lines are never crossed.

    Apart from words, an ideal man is always cautious with other females. Out of respect, the right man would not want a partner to feel insecure. So hanging on to an ex or reacting to flirtations is a no-no.

    Mr. Right Has Good Influence

    The ideal male partner is unwilling to compromise with standards, and that’s a good thing. In a world where certain disloyal acts are considered trendy, Mr. Right doesn’t conform. Rather than join them, an ideal man beats them to the game. There is usually nothing to hide, nothing to lie about. In the end, these values influence Mr Right’s partner. In fact, it begins to affect those closest to the couple.

    Goals Align

    There has to be a genuine connection. Values, dreams, and standards often align. The moment there is disconnection or lack of attraction, it’s a recipe for disaster. No matter how great things feel, there must be a synergy. It should not be anything forced. Not anything one-sided. If it is, then it’s probably just a Mr. Right Now passing by.

    Final Note

    Meeting the right partner automatically influences a person. Once certain values are missing from a person, even the right man can get exhausted. In essence, it takes two to tango; a willing man and a better half working in unison. The end goal? To create a healthy and harmonious romance!

    #Clique, what are your thoughts? Ladies, have you found the ideal man?

    Gents, have you found your Mrs. Right?