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  • 5 Mistakes That Cost You a Second Date

    5 Mistakes That Cost You a Second Date

    Second dates often happen when the first one leaves a good impression on both parties. These days people meet online and go on to assume the best of each other. But guess what? The first date removes this facade. It deconstructs the myth of having a perfect partner. First dates highlight the individual strengths and weaknesses. So it would take serious interest or connection between two people to proceed to a second.

    Reasons Why Second Dates Fail

    Is it that easy to spot the reasons a second date didn’t happen?

    No Second Date If There Are Compatibility Issues

    Online, the connection might have felt heavenly. But upon the first date, questions are asked and views are submitted by both parties. At this point, both individuals pour out their deal breakers. They defend social, logical, and political views. Both parties also exhibit traits regarding their religious ideals. This is when they get to see each other beyond the surface level. Second dates won’t happen once the other person cannot picture a sense of conformity.

    Zero Physical Attraction

    The matchmaking business is more popular online. People may look slightly different from their natural selves. Image filters have made it easier to look perfect! Imagine the realization that an online photo was thoroughly edited. This would leave the other party feeling cheated. In another vein, physical attraction might not just be the fault of the cameras and filters!

    According to studies, the human brain processes compatibility almost immediately. Once there are constant conversations, the mind grows more attached. However, certain expectations persist. This may include physical preferences like hair color, height, dress sense, and other features. So in an instance where the other individual is flawed, that’s the end. A second date might as well be a waste of time!

    Second Dates Won’t Happen If There Was No Mutual Connection

    It’s time for the bitter truth. The second date did not happen because the connection wasn’t mutual! Connection is a vital part of relationships as it fosters compatibility. It could be that one person liked the other more.

    Sadly, this type of connection is one-sided. The disaster ahead is avoided by not scheduling another date. This is usually nobody’s fault as everyone has the right to choose. Instead of feeling depressed, get up and look for that Mr. or Mrs. Right!

    Something Happened

    The connection may have been there, but a second date didn’t materialize. Maybe something unexpected came up—like a private health matter or a reunion with an old flame. Perhaps the other person decided to ghost. Whatever the reason, it’s not worth dwelling on, because it’s not enough to stand in the way of true love. Instead of overanalyzing, let it go and move forward.

    Remember, a second date is unlikely if the first one didn’t go well. There might have been:

    Heated Argument And Loud Voices

    While it is healthy to share ideas and disagree, getting caught up in a debate is a no-no. Especially not on the first fate. This means that one party likes for their voice to be heard over the other’s.

    Lack of Respect

    Not everyone conforms to the idea of a sense of dignity or pride. Once a person fails to converse respectfully, a second date will most likely not fly. Most people will not schedule a date with someone who throws ‘cuss’ words around.

    Final Thoughts

    There are always preferences. Not having a second date may be nobody’s fault. But resist the urge to try again once there is no connection on the first date.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts? Why didn’t you approve that second date?

  • Unlocking Relationship Bliss: The Crucial Element Every Couple Must Embrace

    Unlocking Relationship Bliss: The Crucial Element Every Couple Must Embrace

    The most important factor in a relationship may just be your willingness to commit. Many experts agree that there is never one crucial factor, as it tends to vary due to the couples involved. However, there are some things to look out for to know where your relationship is headed. First, we have established that you and your partner must be willing to commit and carry on. Giving up on the romance means saying goodbye, which only translates to a failed relationship. So, how healthy is the relationship you are currently in?

    The Four Elements Every Healthy Relationship Must Possess

    At this point, you already know that no magic or one factor counts as the most important in a relationship. Relationrise suggests that blending these four elements—commitment, communication, respect, and trust—does the trick.

    Commitment

    This refers to the responsibility you and your partner put on yourselves in the relationship. It translates to how invested you or your partner are in ensuring the romance works. Despite hitting a rough patch, some couples can get back on track by proving their commitment to one another. This works all the time because everyone loves to feel like they are a priority.

    Communication

    Learning to communicate your feelings, including your fears and worries, will elevate your relationship. Possessing the ability to communicate fluently means that your partner is a great listener, and therefore, conflicts can be avoided or handled.

    Trust

    Trust allows you to confide in your other half without feeling out of place or belittled. When you trust them to handle a situation, and they deliver, it increases your respect for them while you learn to improve from your end. Likewise, whenever you prove to be trustworthy by not going against your relationship vows or being the confidant in times of need, you strengthen the quality of your romance.

    Respect

    Nobody’s concerns, fears, or worries should weigh less. Never invalidate your spouse’s feelings, as this negatively affects the romance. Respect is one of the most important factors in a relationship because it is earned. As a man in the relationship, you need to act as a leader who knows how to steer the ship when there is a storm. You must respect your partner’s decisions. When there is a clash of interests, know how to use your feminine power to cajole your man rather than become confrontational.

    Whatever you do, ensure it is reciprocated, whether commitment, respect, trust, or communication. If you notice it as one-sided, it’s time to say goodbye because that doesn’t count as a healthy relationship.

    #Clique, what are your thoughts?

  • When to Embrace Change for Love and When to Stay True: A Guide for Relationship Choices

    When to Embrace Change for Love and When to Stay True: A Guide for Relationship Choices

    In life, change is constant, but is love a big enough deal to influence it? Is love worth changing your personality? We agree that love can be blind in a healthy way. It means you are willing to make compromises and ignore your partner’s mistakes. But when must you see how much good or bad love is doing to your romance? This question is answered when we analyze why people change for their partners and accept the love they think they deserve.

    When to Change for Love

    The reasons you should accept change to please your partner should be positive. According to aconsciousrethink.com, you are influenced by your lover whether you believe it or not. This is because most people spend more time with their beau and subconsciously pick up attitudes and behaviours. Some even go on to change their beliefs. But this is how to know it’s for the best.

    When it makes you:

    A Better Version of Yourself

    Be sure you are not oblivious to what a better version of yourself is. This doesn’t mean you become more demanding or accept being controlled. You must learn to be more open to criticism, forgive easily, and apologize when wrong.

    Learn From The Relationship

    As a man or woman, there is always some learning. Don’t mistake being at the peak of your career as the only achievement when you are in a relationship. You can learn simple and basic things from your partner. Funnily enough, this learning would improve your thinking process as an individual and help your romance.

    When Not to Make the Change for Love

    Are you being coerced to think and act like someone’s ex? Or is the change detrimental to your growth? Then don’t do it.

    You Do Not Need to Change for Love If:

    Your partner is bullying you to change. It could be through gaslighting, manipulation, or outright force. Never settle for such a reason. If you feel the change will not make you thrive or be happy in the relationship, do not change for love! To safeguard your mental health, it’s safe to exit the relationship at this point.

    When Your Partner Feels You Need to Make the Change Alone

    If the change is not from both ends, it might not be necessary to do it in the name of love. Grab your thinking caps, have conversations, and observe why change should occur. Once you notice that your other half is going overboard and unwilling to compromise, ensure that you don’t effect any change until both parties agree on a standpoint!

    Understand that every relationship goes through a process from the beginning until it ends. You are two individuals from different backgrounds and different values. No matter the level of compatibility, there will be little adjustments as time goes on.

  • Spotting and Solving Relationship Addiction

    Spotting and Solving Relationship Addiction

    Before you can solve a problem such as relationship addiction, you must first be aware that it exists in different forms. So the big question is, what does it mean?

    According to RelationRise, relationship addiction is when your brain is wired to depend on your romantic partner. This could include seeking emotional needs, happiness, or being unable to function without them being in the picture.

    Spotting Relationship Addiction

    People who are suffering from relationship addiction may not even know it. But the general characteristic is feeling awkwardly scared of being alone. It almost equates to being ashamed of your single nature, which would lead you to latch on to another for self-worth easily.

    The moment you find it difficult to draw the line when being gaslighted, easily give in to control, and tie your self-worth to another, then you may be exhibiting relationship addiction.

    This would mean you can easily use relationships as an escape route from personal struggles. You would likely become antisocial and relate solely to your romantic partner, and lie to yourself that you can come up with a long list of red flags.

    Solving Relationship Addiction

    This problem can be a consequence of childhood trauma or neglect and emotional instability. If you want to combat it, first be self-aware that you have a problem.

    The methods of fighting this form of addiction are derived from problems. Put a stop to whatever you are doing. Create healthy boundaries and have deal-breakers in your relationships. Have a community you can fall back on, meaning you can discuss your problems with friends or family. If all these do not work, be sure to visit a therapist who will offer professional advice.

    Breaking free from relationship addiction will help your mental well-being, plus you will experience a natural glow and growth in your lifestyle.

  • There’s No Shame In Being Single

    There’s No Shame In Being Single

    Being Single does not equate to loneliness. Instead, it presents a time to build yourself and fly free without boundaries or inhibitions. Bear in mind that as a responsible human, you must not act to hurt yourself. Having said that, being single is not the same thing as recklessness.

    Nevertheless, some people have been wired to believe that not being married means misery. Somehow, they see single-hood as a time to entertain depression and feel total shame. But is that what being single is about?

    Is Being Single a Disease People Should Avoid?

    The answer is no. As stated earlier, being without a partner offers you the chance to do some soul-searching. At this point, you are not connected to anyone and cannot be pressured to succumb to their will.

    As a single person, you can also make choices based on what is important to you. Finding yourself makes it easier to accept a more worthy love. So, honestly speaking, if you are single, use it well before your time runs out.

    Are Married Folks More Fulfilled?

    Don’t take things the wrong way; there is no Armageddon battle between the single and the married. However, it is imperative you know that life can be good for a single person.

    PsychCentral agrees that research involving who is happier between married and single people can be challenging, but it has been done.

    Dr Richard E. Lucas from Michigan State University opined that people’s fulfilment does not necessarily come from marriage. If they were miserable being single, marriage would not change a thing.

    Remember that marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and tension, so it becomes a lost battle if you cannot build confidence when you are single.

    However, we cannot disregard the fact that shame has been attached to being single. The cure is not as simple as you think, but you are in the right direction once you are self-aware. Strip yourself of feeling insecure and not good enough with daily words of affirmation and building genuine friendships.

    Also, learn to do things that give you joy while trying out options to meet new people. But make no mistake of losing yourself in the process. Meanwhile, if you are battling depression, seek a therapist, not a lover, as this can hurt your dating chart!

  • Is Age Just A Number: Celebrity Power Couples Who Overcame Age Differences and Found Success

    Is Age Just A Number: Celebrity Power Couples Who Overcame Age Differences and Found Success

    For some couples, age difference means nothing. As they say, it is just a number; the heart is all that matters. Some couples, even celebrities, with age gaps have found common ground to make their relationship work. But for others, they seem to have yet to get past that biological clock. According to a report by Dr. Loren Olsen, an Iowa psychiatrist, couples who do not consider age a barrier because they feel forever young are more likely to succeed in their relationships.

    Olsen explains that we have different ages in various aspects of our lives – chronological age, psychological age, physical age, and sexual age. Age gap couples frequently find compatibility in the last three areas.

    Despite the positive outlook, there are still factors that determine ultimate happiness. It is important to understand that your romance can be subject to judgment if the gap is too significant. Even when you allow love to lead, it can sometimes interfere with your moments of happiness.

    Famous Couples That Made It Work Despite Their Age Difference

    Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds

    They have a ten-year gap, yet they have been together for years and share a beautiful family.

    Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas

    This couple also has a ten-year gap, and things are working fine for them after welcoming their daughter last year.

    Jay Z and Beyoncé

    Jay Z and Beyonce are twelve years apart in age. They share one of the most successful celebrity love stories. Despite the gap, these couples have had to work to keep their marriage strong. They faced challenges but decided that love and each other were all they needed.

    Is Age Gap a Dangerous Thing in a Relationship?

    There is no doubt that this difference plays a role in a relationship. This is because the couple may think and feel differently at times. Psych Central highlights some factors that are peculiar to couples with an age gap:

    Peculiar life challenges and priorities: When there is a significant age gap, the older partner may begin to worry about health and life challenges. For example, a woman who is about to hit menopause and intends to have a child naturally may face difficulties if her partner is still in his early 20s.

    Emotional stability: Since one partner may have experienced more in life than the other, they may be more mature emotionally.

    Above all, adequate communication, enlightenment of both partners, support from loved ones, and financial independence are crucial for a thriving romance. This is evident even among popular celebrity couples.

  • Julia Fox Reveals That Kanye West Was Needy During Their Relationship, Says ‘It Just Became Too Much’ 

    Julia Fox Reveals That Kanye West Was Needy During Their Relationship, Says ‘It Just Became Too Much’ 

    Julia Fox has revealed that she just knew her and Kanye West’s relationship wouldn’t last following their brief fling last year. The actress became extremely open about their relationship, writing about it in her new memoir titled, Down The Drain. 

    She told Drew Barrymore,

    “I only could do it for so long because ultimately I think he needed a full-time person and I just couldn’t be full-time.” 

    “I had my son [Valentino] and then he’d wanna talk on the phone a lot, like, I’d have to change diapers so I bought a pair of AirPods so I could keep it in while I was doing mom stuff. It was just — it was so overwhelming and so unsustainable,”

    she continued. 

    Interestingly enough, the actress referred to West as The Artist in the book and shared that the Donda rapper was needy during their relationship despite her son being a top priority. 

    “Ultimately I cannot put anybody else first,” said the actress. 

    She added,

    “My son has to be first. It just became too much. I didn’t sign up to have two babies. I couldn’t do it. It felt like two babies.”

    #Clique, what are your thoughts? 

  • Setting Healthy Boundaries That Can Help Improve Relationships

    Setting Healthy Boundaries That Can Help Improve Relationships

    Creating boundaries is one thing, but are they healthy boundaries? This is a question not many know the answer to. Also, did you know that you can set healthy boundaries, which, in turn, will help your relationships?

    What Do You Know About Creating Healthy Boundaries?

    Creating boundaries is not a weird phenomenon; for many people, irrespective of culture, it would seem like the healthiest thing to do. It is not difficult to know what healthy boundaries are, especially if you are an open-minded individual who appreciates cultural differences.

    In places like Africa and Asia, family members are sometimes expected to greet with a bow, prostration, or even touching the feet of an elder when greeting. Meanwhile, in Europe, there is sometimes no prescribed form for greetings. You can greet them with a hug, kiss, or handshake, regardless of the age difference. Now, that is a cultural boundary intended to maintain respect.

    Healthy personal boundaries also exist. No matter where you are, if a stranger comes too close for comfort, that person has crossed the line. Boundaries can also be created for families, friends, and business associates and cannot be interchanged.

    How To Create Boundaries

    Once familiar with the existing boundaries, creating healthy boundaries should not be difficult. However, the first step is to make the other person conscious and aware. You must be able to communicate your expectations of that relationship, be it social, personal, or formal.

    After establishing that, be sure to stand your ground. Show your assertiveness by being polite yet firm. Maintaining boundaries is important for a healthy relationship — don’t make it seem one-sided.

    Avoid being a people pleaser if you want your boundaries to be respected in any relationship. If you don’t, it can create a parasitic relationship, affecting your mental health. Also, don’t feel bad for doing what is best for you, but make sure others are not hurt in the process.

  • The Benefits of Parasocial Relationships: How They Impact Our Lives

    The Benefits of Parasocial Relationships: How They Impact Our Lives

    Prepare yourself for this new revelation — you may be in a committed relationship with a partner but still in a parasocial relationship. So the big question is, what is a parasocial relationship?

    The definition is akin to being in a parasitic relationship as it is one-sided. A parasocial relationship can be with a celebrity or someone distant from you. This type of relationship means you love and admire someone, even though you do not know them personally. Interestingly, studies show that parasocial relationships have positive and negative aspects.

    The Positive Side of a Parasocial Relationship

    Many individuals have experienced this, whether as teenagers or adults. You might have that one celebrity who captivates your interest. You have nothing to worry about if you have a healthy balance, such as being in the entertainment social category.

    Consider yourself fortunate if you are in a parasocial relationship with a celebrity who uses their platform to address issues like prejudice, mental health, and self-esteem. When you feel connected to a celebrity, and the feeling is reciprocated, it can show you that you are not alone, something even a star does not want to feel.

    The Negative Side

    There are two types of parasocial relationships: intense and borderline pathological. The first is often referred to as celebrity worship. Sometimes, you may convince yourself that you are in a relationship with a celebrity or public figure.

    On the other hand, the borderline-pathological type is more intense and dangerous. They involve fantasies that can spiral out of control. This situation may even lead you to stalk that person or celebrity.

    Unfortunately, you may start living in that person’s shadow, feeling depressed until you see or hear the celebrity speak — usually online or on TV. Such situations can sever your social relationships with those close to you. It can also impact your relationships. In the long run, idolizing another person can affect your mental health and cause feelings of insecurity.

  • How To Break Free From Heartbreak Woes

    How To Break Free From Heartbreak Woes

    “It’s not me; it’s you.” This is one of the biggest lies in human history, especially when it comes to love. It’s a line used by those who still feel some sense of compassion for soon-to-be exes. Regardless of how or when it comes, a breakup is always challenging. Receiving unexpected breakup news can plunge you into depression and adversely affect you.

    Ironically, a breakup can only mean two things, regardless of who initiated it. Firstly, you have saved yourself from future hurt, and secondly, you will soon enter a new phase of romance. But while dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, you may find this guide helpful.

    Guide to Breaking Free From Heartbreak Woes

    It is never easy to stop thinking about that person who promised you the world and said things would last forever. You have recently discovered that “forever” has a completely different meaning to them. Frankly speaking, one can lose their mind dwelling on past feelings and become deprived of what lies ahead. However, the following steps can guide you in navigating heartbreak in the best possible way.

    Set Aside a Grieving Period

    Losing someone you love, even if it’s not due to death but because they chose someone else, can be as painful as the former. So, yes, your feelings of worry and constant sobs are necessary for a certain period. It only means you are processing the transition, but try not to dwell on it too long. In the words of Tess Brigham, a therapist and life coach, “It’s okay to feel sad one day, mad the next, in denial the day after, and back to feeling sad again.”

    Avoid Social Media Stalking

    There is always an urge to know how your ex is faring without you but resist the temptation. It will only lead to further depression. Revisiting the happy times you shared online by stalking your ex’s page is pointless.

    Be honest with yourself about how you feel. You may still have feelings but try to block the person for a while or even permanently. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for leaving them in the past, especially not your ex.

    Live Your Best Life by Doing What Makes You Happy

    This could involve trying a new hobby, going on an adventure, funding your new business, or even engaging in picnics or movie dates with friends. Talk about the good times you’ve shared as friends, and avoid focusing on your romantic life. If being around couples makes you sad, find other single friends and have fun while erasing the pain from your past.